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Old 1st November 2010, 12:55 AM   #1 (permalink)
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advices ?

Earlier this year my cousin,V smsed me asking whether i'm interested ito buy girlguides cookies.so i ordered 2 from her,Few weeks later she told me via FB that the deadline to pay
is on monday (she told me like on sat? ) & BEcause i didnt meet her i asked her to ask
her mum to help me pay first. She acted like i was gonna eat up her mum's $ like that & i'm not gonna pay her back. But finally i called my aunt (her mum) to help me pay first.

just now,i just got my cookies.my aunt came up to pass me as she was going for family dinner with my mum & i was feeling unwell (no good food )
when my aunt got back into the car,

cousin V faster asked her mum " Did she pay you the money ?! did she ?!"

my mum " you cannot treat her(me) de meh huh? she's your cousin le. why you want the money go buy nonsense thing again right? "

Btw i gave my aunt $60,for the cookie & a present for my brother ( we shared $ to buy )
so should have extra of like $30 but i didnt get back. & my aunt's family is not so financially wealthy.

i know their financial situation is kinda bad,& when they stayed over @ our place for over a month,or even when they come & visit. 90% of their expenses is my mum or my another aunt pay for them.

when me & cousin V & her brother go downstairs,swimming
i paid for EVERYTHING. & you come ask me for the $ like loan shark.

my bf asked Cousin V's brother . " If one day jie jie forget to bring money then you guys eat what? "

her brother " oh like that ah,dont need eat lor. "

her mum doesnt give her money when they go out with me,idk why,but she just doesnt.i guess she assumes it's normal for me to pay for them.

& i'm not those that can open mouth to my aunt asking " can u please give them $ when they go out with me ?" i just cant.doesnt seem appropriate

cousin V is a v stingy person,since young.
when she was small she used to stay @ granny place's
& will save up those loose change.one time my granny doesnt have enough cash
& asked her whether she can borrow/give her few dollars she told granny,i dont have money dont ask me. & now it's the same.she would rather spend the money on idk what.food ?
& her brother is slowly becoming one.


i feel like tell her the next time she comes to my place.
when we go out please bring your wallets with you.
u pay what for what u want i'm not gonna pay for you anymore.

but sometimes i will feel bad for saying these stuff. on the another hand i'm pissed she treated me like i'm not gonna pay her the $ like that.

any advice on this kind of situation?

p.s - so sorry for the super long story.& thank you for reading.

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Old 2nd November 2010, 12:29 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: advices ?

hei emine,

all you need to do is be calm and afterall she's your cousin. i know sometimes relatives can be a arse towards relatives but as long as you know you did nothing wrong, why bother being raged by her attitude?

btw, you have a very cute bunnies!!!! *ur avatar!

cheers mate.

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Old 2nd November 2010, 12:58 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: advices ?

She has fanancial problem , you as her cuzin help her pay for food all those ok what ?? If is me i will pay for her but not those expensive stuffs la. But the way she treat you kinda make it sucks to be the good guy yea ?

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Old 2nd November 2010, 01:15 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: advices ?

nah.... even is a relative.. u owe nothing to her life~ it is oke to try be nice when u r able too.. but when the ppl starts to make full use of use... u will be labeled as 'stupid'... so be firmed and tell her.. no means NO!
it is not about money! it is about give and take.. even no appreciation of ur kindness.. at least she shouldn't make use of u

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Old 2nd November 2010, 08:33 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by BlackLeaf View Post
She has fanancial problem , you as her cuzin help her pay for food all those ok what ?? If is me i will pay for her but not those expensive stuffs la. But the way she treat you kinda make it sucks to be the good guy yea ?
I mean I don't mind paying for her meals and all but hey she doesn't even act like she got financial problems,she got into the best class & wants a reward of an itouch from her mum which costs the whole month of her salary. She wants to get braces,laptop & she's 14 ? She should know her family's situation instead of asking for all these costly items.

& yes it does suck haha feel like a walking portable ATM

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Old 2nd November 2010, 08:38 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by LostMeow View Post
nah.... even is a relative.. u owe nothing to her life~ it is oke to try be nice when u r able too.. but when the ppl starts to make full use of use... u will be labeled as 'stupid'... so be firmed and tell her.. no means NO!
it is not about money! it is about give and take.. even no appreciation of ur kindness.. at least she shouldn't make use of u
Feels so too ); but then how do I tell her that ? Sometimes when I wanna say "pay your own meals next time" but I see them I will feel bad for wanting to say that to them haha idk why but my mind works like that :/

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Old 2nd November 2010, 09:02 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: advices ?

This kind of cousin who wants? Why not stay far far away from such people? Otherwise for your whole life you will be subsidising them.

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Old 2nd November 2010, 10:01 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by secondjunks View Post
hei emine,

all you need to do is be calm and afterall she's your cousin. i know sometimes relatives can be a arse towards relatives but as long as you know you did nothing wrong, why bother being raged by her attitude?

btw, you have a very cute bunnies!!!! *ur avatar!

cheers mate.
Thanks haha will try to ignore her lol

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Old 2nd November 2010, 10:09 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: advices ?

just an misunderstanding...

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Old 4th November 2010, 03:48 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: advices ?

Just let it be my Dear
I mean accumulate the good deeds for yourself
+1 for you ok

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Old 5th November 2010, 09:09 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Re: advices ?

Confront her with every single thing you dislike, you will be doing good by helping her grow up and earn those things by herself

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Old 5th November 2010, 09:19 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Re: advices ?

Bear in mind, cousins are still ONLY cousins.
You dont owe her anyth. Next time, tell her nicely to pay for herself, you no money.

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