| |  | | 其他
Published by uyen
07-07-2007
| 
十一点半
上午第四节课，A生肚子饿，无心听课，坐在位置上呆呆地想着牛肉，面包。
数学老师发现他走神，便提问他：1.130小数向右移动一位，将会怎么样？A
生毫不犹豫地回答：将会开午饭！
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爱美女兼及臭豆腐
或曰臭豆腐以臭为美，吾不以为然。
尝记儿时屡做恶梦，但能忆之者甚少，惟有一梦如在目前。某日吾从睡梦中惊起，冷汗直流，母大骇，急问何故。 吾讷讷道：适才做一恶梦，某人强令儿食一口臭豆腐。
而今，吾已修完大学学业，并获文学学士，满腹经伦自是吹牛，若言吾学富四车，才高七斗，则并不为过。然吾竟 不知臭豆腐之臭不可闻，犹有人食之，何也？
一日，漫步岛城中山路，吾出行不过半里，便遇一人摆卖臭豆腐，臭气虽只一缕，于吾已是扑面，每每掩鼻低头而 过，若此者数。行至天真摄影，偶抬头，惊见二美女各执一块臭豆腐，暴食之。
吾尝以为，凡食臭豆腐者，必为牛头马面、歪瓜劣枣之流，不想竟有如此美女。再前行不过半里，又惊见三五美女 并坐于中山路边休闲椅，亦各执一块臭豆腐。吾不禁上前诘问：以卿之美若巩俐，何以贪吃臭豆腐？卿不知岛城乃 环保卫生之城？
不料，此美女诤诤言道：臭豆腐摊前无丑女，此乃岛城街头一景，君竟不知，君非岛城市民耶？
吾闻此言一声叹息：呜呼，鱼与熊掌不可得兼，犹可舍鱼而取熊掌，美女之与臭豆腐，吾不可仅得其一，吾不可仅 恶其一，难乎哉？古人云爱屋及其乌，真理也！吾言爱美女兼及臭豆腐，无奈也！
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欢吃什么自己买
某日，甲遇到乙，非要乙请客不可，乙没办法只好给?00元让他喜欢吃什么自己去买，并说这100元里面还有 一个故事，甲听后非常感兴趣非要乙讲讲。于是是乙讲到：
有一个农夫养了一头猪，一天来了一个穿西装的人问他每天用什么东西喂猪，农夫说：我每天就用剩菜和潲水喂 猪啊！那人听后拿出一个证件说：我是世界保护动物协会的，你用那些没有营养有害健康的东西来喂你的猪！ 罚你10000元！
过了几天又来了一个穿西装的人问他用什么东西喂猪，农夫说：我每天就用鱼翅、燕窝和鹿茸喂猪啊！那人听 后拿出一个证件说：我是世界饥荒组织的，世界上现在那么多的地方在闹饥荒，你却用这么名贵的东西来喂猪！ 罚你10000元！
又过了几天又来了一个穿西装的人问他用什么东西喂猪，农夫说：我不知道！那人奇怪的说：你的猪你怎么 会不知道用什么喂的啊？农夫说：是啊，我也不知道该喂它吃什么！我每天就给它100元，它自己喜欢吃什 么自己买啊！
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成功就是......
成功就是：
Success is:
At age 4, success is...not peeing your pants.
在4岁时，成功就是不会尿在裤子上。
At age 12, success is...having friends.
在12岁时，成功就是有朋友围绕。
At age 20, success is...having sex.
在20岁时，成功就是拥有性生活。
At age 35, success is...making money.
在35岁时，成功就是赚大钱。
At age 60, success is...having sex.
在60岁时，成功就是拥有性生活。
At age 70, success is...having friends.
在70岁时，成功就是有朋友围绕。
At age 80, success is...not peeing your pants.
在80岁时，成功就是不会尿在裤子上。
:biggrin4:
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07-07-2007, 02:10 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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gees lol thats kinda dumb . | 
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09-07-2007, 12:03 AM
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#2 (permalink)
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well th elast one seems quite logical...keke:biggrin4:
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09-07-2007, 07:07 PM
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Yoursay -
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09-07-2007, 07:25 PM
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#4 (permalink)
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haha the last one is especially funny 
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10-07-2007, 01:46 AM
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#5 (permalink)
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lol,everything goes in cycle.:biggrin4:
__________________
人情味不是偏私而是博爱，
不是施舍而是关怀。
不是表面的礼貌，
而是内心的尊重。
Friends will bail you out of jail.but Best Friends will be sitting by you saying,
" that was awesome !" | 
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10-07-2007, 03:10 AM
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