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Old 28th January 2011, 06:08 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Complete discouragement:(

Ok so the problem lies in my dad who is a very indignant man and a dogmatic person. that's great.....
this is how it goes....
I simply LOVE drawing and of course I'm very proud of my talent to draw. Well, they obviously don't think so. My dad even shouted at me and said," OH, YOU THINK YOUR DRAWINGS ARE SO GOOD? GET REAL!!!i CAN DRAW TEN TIMES BETTER THAN YOU WHEN I WAS IN PRIMARY 4. YOU ASK YOUR BROTHER! HIS FRIEND CAN ALSO DRAW BETTER THAN YOU. YOU THINK THIS IS TALENT?! BULLSHIT!!" harsh words.....:'(

There was this other time when I did something wrong......just a slight mistake....and wow he saw the situation and without hesitation, he told my mother what happened.....too childish to comprehend.-.- Seriously, parents do not actually DISCUSS about how bad their child is.Even if so they would obviously find ways to help and guide them to the right path. Mine simply took the time to actually talk about the things I've done wrong today and "say, we should beat her so that she will understand" (I can hear everything from inside my room-.-) wow like that works
children don't just come out bad and is naturally bad. It always comes down to how the parents teach and nurture them. so we're like blank pieces of paper and parents are the hands that draw us into either beautiful pictures or bad ones.

ok yea I feel so much better now *sigh*
well of course there other events whereby they play favouritism and all but I don't bother so yea. enjoy sch days to all j1 people cheers

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Old 28th January 2011, 10:35 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Complete discouragement:(

Originally Posted by agony10 View Post
There was this other time when I did something wrong......just a slight mistake....and wow he saw the situation and without hesitation, he told my mother what happened.....too childish to comprehend.-.- Seriously, parents do not actually DISCUSS about how bad their child is.Even if so they would obviously find ways to help and guide them to the right path. Mine simply took the time to actually talk about the things I've done wrong today and "say, we should beat her so that she will understand" (I can hear everything from inside my room-.-) wow like that works
children don't just come out bad and is naturally bad. It always comes down to how the parents teach and nurture them. so we're like blank pieces of paper and parents are the hands that draw us into either beautiful pictures or bad ones.
As a parent myself, I strongly agree with you. I strongly believe encouragement, love and care work much better than cane..

TS, be strong..I feel for you...No matter how hard you feel, always remember there others that going or gone through worst than you..

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Old 28th January 2011, 10:37 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Complete discouragement:(

it is good for you to speak up... at least there will be people that support you here... parents always wanted the best for their child but their expression can be in wrong method

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Old 28th January 2011, 10:41 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Complete discouragement:(

Originally Posted by zainynn View Post
As a parent myself, I strongly agree with you. I strongly believe encouragement, love and care work much better than cane..

TS, be strong..I feel for you...No matter how hard you feel, always remember there others that going or gone through worst than you..
It depends on what mistake the child made or if it's a repeated mistake.

Small mistake now can be serious in future.

Sometimes sitting down and talking/advising works but sometimes caning is the only option for the child to learn his/her mistake.

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

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Old 31st January 2011, 02:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Complete discouragement:(

Originally Posted by Peuan Sanit View Post
It depends on what mistake the child made or if it's a repeated mistake.

Small mistake now can be serious in future.

Sometimes sitting down and talking/advising works but sometimes caning is the only option for the child to learn his/her mistake.

Spare the rod, spoil the child.
Sometimes, i feel that regulars, or former regulars, always have the mindset "Spare the rod and spoil the child" Attitude.

Only hit, when situation permits, the only right thing a parent to do is to command respect and not instill fear.

However at times, the latter proves more efficiency

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Old 31st January 2011, 03:11 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Complete discouragement:(

i used to b in d same situation s u... watever i do, my mum definitely has some comments... example: hanging out late = having bad company = joining gangs = fighting - she always has tons of assumptions... dad n mum openly discussed my behaviour, attitude etc... it's like telling my siblings, this child = cannot make it...

s i grew up, i realised, dad n mum cared a lot... mum always has tons of assumptions cos dats how she felt things would be if she didnt stop me / take me in hand... but being young, i was being more n more rebellious cos of her comments & took it into heart dat she plainly didnt like me, jus wanna pull me down... being more rebellious is like telling her dat she has been right in her assumptions & things jus got more n more worst...

it was... only until i actually became a parent myself... dat i started to realise how my mum actually felt & d worried & disappointment she has... n d regret of not communicating with her properly when i was younger...

mayb ur parents do care, but d way they show may not b d way u wan / like... sometimes communication do help...

mayb ur dad put ur art down cos he didnt wan u to become a person filled with proudness, sometimes, diff parents tend to react diff when faced with d same circumstances... i excelled in academic since young, but my mum would always say i m stoopid once every two days...

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Old 31st January 2011, 09:05 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Complete discouragement:(

Communication is very important in family and between child/parent.

It a important tool to know each other feeling and wants.

If one, don't know or don care of communication each other, there no point sit down and talk, all gone........ BOOM~~WAR, that how my family member is.

But agony10, Just think brighter way, in this world not u alone have family problem.

sometime i very ervy u all, if family problem outbreak, u all actually got room to hide aviod any argument,

but me, i can't................everyday have to face it.

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Old 31st January 2011, 09:08 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Complete discouragement:(

You should speak up, and let them know.
But looking at how your dad is now, I find that very hard.

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Old 31st January 2011, 09:15 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Complete discouragement:(

Use it as motivation to draw even better!

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