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Old 31st July 2011, 10:38 AM   #1 (permalink)
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What if your dad has a "not simple" mistress?

My best friend's scenario, and I really wish I could help.

Dad's daughter and his mistress don't get along well and then daughter sms the mistress for bank account number to return the ang pow she had gave. mistress said to leave her alone, and then the whole conversation started. daughter were sarcastic with all her textes because she has never like her.

mistress (foreigner) complaint to Dad and Dad insisted to see daughter's phone for the conversation but daughter refused because it's her privacy. Dad threatened her and said he will do what he want and never ever try to control his life. Dad slapped daughter on her face for not showing him the phone and said to get out of the house!

Mum, do not know about the affair Dad has because she has a weak heart and daughter do not wan to worry her and make things worsen and of course Dad and Mum not in good terms too.

daughter hacked into dad's phone and saw the messages from the mistress saying ,
" You love your daughter too much and thats why she is controlling your life"

" She should respect you as a father and not making things difficult for you"

"I have cried very badly and I am so hurt, but it's okay , I can understand, I have forgive her already"

She sent a msg to daughter saying, " I will never leave your dad till the end of my life"

Conclusion : She is a fake angel infront of the dad and trying to discord the dad and daughter's r/s.

What can i help or what can my friend do?

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Last edited by BeRRies-*; 31st July 2011 at 04:43 PM.
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Old 31st July 2011, 10:42 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: What if your dad has a mistress and it's a not simple one.

looks like typical rich family scenario.... engage a PI and get hold of evidence tat the mistress eyeing for ur friend dad $$$ and hot true love show it to him in front of the mistress with the PI present....

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Old 31st July 2011, 11:21 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: What if your dad has a mistress and it's a not simple one.

Originally Posted by Yongjin View Post
looks like typical rich family scenario.... engage a PI and get hold of evidence tat the mistress eyeing for ur friend dad $$$ and hot true love show it to him in front of the mistress with the PI present....
Yongjin, it sounds like one right. but she aint from rich family just a normal one. we did thought of engaging a PI but it costs $ (do u have any idea abt how much?) if she just wants photos of both her dad and mistress together holding hands and picking up from house etc

the mistress claimed it's true love.my friend just hacked into her dad's pc and found out that, they are going out later. worst, he's bringing her to his office.. can u imagine , it's like everybody knows him in the office and he's bringing NOT-HIS-WIFE to office?

my friend is thinking if she should appears at the office to tell the woman off. to scare his dad too. but after this, she surely not able to hack into his pc.

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Last edited by BeRRies-*; 31st July 2011 at 11:24 AM.
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Old 31st July 2011, 11:43 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: What if your dad has a "not simple" mistress?

cost wise i nt sure bt at least min 1k i guess...... these kind of ting photo no use 1.... u need to hv actual audio recording.. which would probably cost more.....

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Old 31st July 2011, 12:09 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: What if your dad has a "not simple" mistress?

How old is your friend? Age does matter regarding which decision to make.

I would suggest to talk to her mum. Either way her mum will get to know sooner or later. Men at this stage of so call "new love" will be blinded and most probably the women is there for his money.

I would suggest getting evidence of adultery and sue her dad. Most people won't treasure things around them, see who really care for them until they lost them. This method also ensure that they have a house to stay in before the woman takes away everything.

I know my suggestion sounds dramatic and it's a very difficult decision to make but I think it's practical IMO.

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Old 31st July 2011, 12:16 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: What if your dad has a "not simple" mistress?

Originally Posted by Yongjin View Post
cost wise i nt sure bt at least min 1k i guess...... these kind of ting photo no use 1.... u need to hv actual audio recording.. which would probably cost more.....
audio recording, kinda difficult...

Originally Posted by passerby02 View Post
How old is your friend? Age does matter regarding which decision to make.

I would suggest to talk to her mum. Either way her mum will get to know sooner or later. Men at this stage of so call "new love" will be blinded and most probably the women is there for his money.

I would suggest getting evidence of adultery and sue her dad. Most people won't treasure things around them, see who really care for them until they lost them. This method also ensure that they have a house to stay in before the woman takes away everything.

I know my suggestion sounds dramatic and it's a very difficult decision to make but I think it's practical IMO.

the whole thing sounded dramatic that's why we have to come out with dramatic solutions. she's 20.

yeah, "new love" and pretends to nice only in front of her dad.
she send me a screenshot of the sms from the mistress to her dad.
the mistress.... she's really...... awesome actress i must say.

really don't know how to help her.
what she should do actually besides this? just continue to let her dad be with the mistress?

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Old 31st July 2011, 12:23 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: What if your dad has a "not simple" mistress?

According to the law , having a mistress is a reliable reason to divorce.

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Old 31st July 2011, 12:30 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: What if your dad has a "not simple" mistress?

Well, I doubt anything your friend says, any evidence she shows her dad will get through to him.
Maybe her dad after the divorce,
(1) he will break up with the woman and try to seek their forgiveness
(2) the woman will leave automatically cos she sees no benefit being with him anymore
(3) nothing will change

Most of the time soft approaches won't work. Even if soft approaches might work this time doesn't mean it won't happen second time.


Last edited by passerby02; 31st July 2011 at 12:31 PM.
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Old 31st July 2011, 01:00 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: What if your dad has a "not simple" mistress?

Rather than getting a PI or telling her mom, why don't she have a frank heart to heart talk with her dad about what frustrations he has in his life, and how does the mistress make him happy?

He is at an age right now when many question their life choices, and feel unhappy with their place and position in life: Mid Life Crisis in other words. Having a mistress is usually an outlet for them to feel like themselves or to have someone or somewhere they can be free and "happy"-- to forget reality and vent and confide their frustrations in.

Usually this stems from a deeper source than mere lust. He could be feeling unloved, unappreciated or left out in the family. Or he could be frustrated with his relationship with her mother. Either way a PI and spying will only aggravate the divide and mistrust between him and his daughter. Men tend to prefer "soft" rather than "hard". And judging by his reaction to her previous accusations, he probably isn't going to take kindly to a righteous or accusatory attitude.

I would advice appealing to him as a daughter would her father. Don't talk about disappointment or "this is wrong" instead ask him if he is unhappy, and listen to him. Minimize bad mouthing about the mistress, and try not to pressure him too much about responsibility-- that would just make him clam up and shut her out. Instead be comforting, supporting and understanding.

Either way I wouldn't expect easy fixes for such situations. You can't exactly fix a loss in purpose, in self worth and self esteem without expending large amounts of energy, feelings and time. Humiliation and confrontation can hurt as much as they have the potential to help, so I will be very very careful if I'm going to go down that route as her dad may end up holding a grudge against her for doing that to him.


Last edited by poopeeka; 31st July 2011 at 01:04 PM.
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Old 31st July 2011, 01:16 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: What if your dad has a "not simple" mistress?

Originally Posted by passerby02 View Post
Well, I doubt anything your friend says, any evidence she shows her dad will get through to him.
Maybe her dad after the divorce,
(1) he will break up with the woman and try to seek their forgiveness
(2) the woman will leave automatically cos she sees no benefit being with him anymore
(3) nothing will change

Most of the time soft approaches won't work. Even if soft approaches might work this time doesn't mean it won't happen second time.

oh! i remember, her dad is a very soft hearted person and that's why he is easily " softened " by the mistress.


Originally Posted by poopeeka View Post
Rather than getting a PI or telling her mom, why don't she have a frank heart to heart talk with her dad about what frustrations he has in his life, and how does the mistress make him happy?

He is at an age right now when many question their life choices, and feel unhappy with their place and position in life: Mid Life Crisis in other words. Having a mistress is usually an outlet for them to feel like themselves or to have someone or somewhere they can be free and "happy"-- to forget reality and vent and confide their frustrations in.

Usually this stems from a deeper source than mere lust. He could be feeling unloved, unappreciated or left out in the family. Or he could be frustrated with his relationship with her mother. Either way a PI and spying will only aggravate the divide and mistrust between him and his daughter. Men tend to prefer "soft" rather than "hard". And judging by his reaction to her previous accusations, he probably isn't going to take kindly to a righteous or accusatory attitude.

I would advice appealing to him as a daughter would her father. Don't talk about disappointment or "this is wrong" instead ask him if he is unhappy, and listen to him. Minimize bad mouthing about the mistress, and try not to pressure him too much about responsibility-- that would just make him clam up and shut her out. Instead be comforting, supporting and understanding.

Either way I wouldn't expect easy fixes for such situations. You can't exactly fix a loss in purpose, in self worth and self esteem without expending large amounts of energy, feelings and time. Humiliation and confrontation can hurt as much as they have the potential to help, so I will be very very careful if I'm going to go down that route as her dad may end up holding a grudge against her for doing that to him.

thanks dear, will advise my friend of that...

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Old 1st August 2011, 04:44 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Re: What if your dad has a "not simple" mistress?

PI have ways to get audio recording of conversation..... how they do it... is another matter...

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Old 1st August 2011, 06:04 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Re: What if your dad has a "not simple" mistress?

If I'm in your friend's situation, I would.

1 - Tell Mom.
2 - Get Mom to Divorce.
3 - Accuse Dad for having Illicit affairs.
4 - Take half his money, financial support from him after divorce.

It's not all about the money, it's about payback. and payback's a bitch.

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