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Old 27th September 2013, 03:21 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Girlfriend cheats on you, you had no way of telling but she told you anyway. What would you d?

So your girlfriend cheats on you, you had absolutely no way of telling that she cheated on you, but when things get serious between you, she decides to tell you that, yes, she cheated on you some time back because she didn't know if you guys were serious back then. You really love her and don't want to leave her although it hurts. What do you do?

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Old 27th September 2013, 03:47 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Girlfriend cheats on you, you had no way of telling but she told you anyway. What would you d?

I will leave her. IMO, once in a relationship. Both parties heart are taken and given to each other. How can she say that she didn't know if the r/s is serious therefore she cheated.



I should probably add that, I know it's 'ask a guy' part of the forum. So I checked with my guy before posting.

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Last edited by chrome_dokuro; 27th September 2013 at 05:32 PM. Reason: add on last line.
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Old 28th September 2013, 12:48 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Girlfriend cheats on you, you had no way of telling but she told you anyway. What would you d?

Well the first thing that I would do will just leave her and just have time to think. Love is something that is strong but I need to have time to injest the information. I think that I will forgive her because truth is something I really value. However, it will not be something that is instantenous.

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Old 28th September 2013, 02:07 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Girlfriend cheats on you, you had no way of telling but she told you anyway. What would you d?

As long as she promises to never do it again keep her. The past is the past and in most cases, people can change. The fact that she had admitted it to you shows alot about the kind person that she is. This should count as building trust towards your relationship. However, you should not let her off that easy. Keep closer tabs on her and maybe become more closer to her to ensure that it does not happen again. I do not mean that one should stalk her and never let her out of your site, just let her know that you trust her but are still upset at the prior events.

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Old 28th September 2013, 05:46 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Girlfriend cheats on you, you had no way of telling but she told you anyway. What would you d?

This is a hard situation but I understand where she is coming from. Relationships are so tricky these days so if there was no indication that you and her were going to be serious, she didn't feel the need to be faithful. Like If she was thinking you both were just going to break up anyways, what's the damage? I think the fact that she told you indicates that she wants to be honest with you, wich is important for relationships. I would just let it go give the relationship a chance and just take it slow.

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Old 28th September 2013, 07:19 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Girlfriend cheats on you, you had no way of telling but she told you anyway. What would you d?

Well, I'm a girl, but if this happened to me with a guy, I might really consider to leave him. I'd applaud his honesty tho, but it'd be hard to ever trust him after knowing he did that while we were in a relationship. There is no good excuse for cheating on someone, if I know a guy did that... that'd make me think this guy is not very trustworthy, and I'd have serious doubts he might actually do it again. You just can't be with someone you don't really trust, because that usually leads to a really sick relationship.

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Old 2nd October 2013, 01:55 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Girlfriend cheats on you, you had no way of telling but she told you anyway. What would you d?

Originally Posted by petersos View Post
Well the first thing that I would do will just leave her and just have time to think. Love is something that is strong but I need to have time to injest the information. I think that I will forgive her because truth is something I really value. However, it will not be something that is instantenous.
What if you also know and felt like you were not that serious at the time, but after a while you started feeling attached to this girl and the feeling was mutual? sHOULD YOU ALSO JUST CHEAT TO GET EVEN?

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Old 2nd October 2013, 01:58 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Girlfriend cheats on you, you had no way of telling but she told you anyway. What would you d?

Originally Posted by Trellum View Post
Well, I'm a girl, but if this happened to me with a guy, I might really consider to leave him. I'd applaud his honesty tho, but it'd be hard to ever trust him after knowing he did that while we were in a relationship. There is no good excuse for cheating on someone, if I know a guy did that... that'd make me think this guy is not very trustworthy, and I'd have serious doubts he might actually do it again. You just can't be with someone you don't really trust, because that usually leads to a really sick relationship.
But the issue here was that love was not there at first and then it slowly began to grow, and to avoid it being a bad secret that might shatter the relationship in future, she decided to tell me earlier .Now that's a dilemma right there. She told me even before I asked her if she ever has, I never found out from someone else you know.

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Old 2nd October 2013, 02:08 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Girlfriend cheats on you, you had no way of telling but she told you anyway. What would you d?

Originally Posted by Carlalexander View Post
What if you also know and felt like you were not that serious at the time, but after a while you started feeling attached to this girl and the feeling was mutual? sHOULD YOU ALSO JUST CHEAT TO GET EVEN?
You're admitting things weren't serious, which leads me to believe that this wasn't even really cheating. I am a woman, but if I was in this situation with a guy, I would thank him for his honesty and move forward with the relationship.

As for cheating to get even, absolutely not! You weren't serious with her when she did whatever it was she did with someone else, but you are serious about her now. Cheating on her would be the worst thing you could do. And you wouldn't even be considering it if you truly care about her.

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Old 2nd October 2013, 06:53 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Girlfriend cheats on you, you had no way of telling but she told you anyway. What would you d?

I would leave her and tell her that if she really wants this relationship then it was her job to start from scratch and prove it to you. This will show whether she actually wants to fight for you or has a real lack of care.

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Old 14th October 2013, 10:43 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Re: Girlfriend cheats on you, you had no way of telling but she told you anyway. What would you d?

A friend once told me this:

"Cheating is not a sin. Its an option."

Even though I do agree with such an act, and that I am also one of the victims. However, what my friend said was true to a certain extent.

Once any parties cheated, its no return. Even if the couple reconciles and patch things up, the scar is already there.

The only way to stop this, is to prevent it from happening.

When one cheats, it usually means there is a long existing problem that couldn't be solved in the relationship.

If you think the person isn't right for you at the start or you aren't ready to commit, then do not commit into the relationship from the start and cheat to get out of it at the end. Not only you are hurting an innocent party, but you are hurting yourself too. If you really love your partner, and you feel that there are problems in your relationship, don't be egoistic and keep quiet. Just talk it out and fix it, before the problem fixes you and your relationship.

Cheating is an option, but not a long term one. It's just a temp solution to existing problems in a r/s. Even if you cheat or leave your partner, the problem is still there. Jaded from fixing things? Haha, that means you don't love him/her enough or don't even love him/her from the start.

Sad, ironic, but true.

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Old 14th October 2013, 11:04 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Re: Girlfriend cheats on you, you had no way of telling but she told you anyway. What would you d?

When one cheats, it usually means there is a long existing problem that couldn't be solved in the relationship.
Disagree there. It could be a personality thing.

Some people just have the value that it's ok to cheat.

If a person jay walks, is there a problem with the road?

If a person cheats, maybe he's just a dishonest person

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Old 15th October 2013, 02:35 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Re: Girlfriend cheats on you, you had no way of telling but she told you anyway. What would you d?

I don't quite understand why we're calling this cheating when the OP admitted that things weren't serious at the stage the incident happened. If it was a more casual "friendship" when the so-called "cheating" occurred, I don't see what the problem is.

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Old 15th October 2013, 12:21 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Re: Girlfriend cheats on you, you had no way of telling but she told you anyway. What would you d?

Do the slow clap

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Old 20th October 2013, 02:57 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Re: Girlfriend cheats on you, you had no way of telling but she told you anyway. What would you d?

Just dump.it greatly hurts,but you want to risk her cheating on you time and time again?

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Old 21st October 2013, 06:10 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Re: Girlfriend cheats on you, you had no way of telling but she told you anyway. What would you d?

i will probably forgive her

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Old 21st October 2013, 06:32 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Re: Girlfriend cheats on you, you had no way of telling but she told you anyway. What would you d?

if i were a boy,i would throw her out of the window...and she will fly like superman!whee..

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