He did it to protect me..?

Maimai · 30-09-2009, 05:06 PM

I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday.

Sorry for the long post, but please do take the time to read..

On Monday I asked him for his phone to check his SMSes(because theres been rumours going about him flirting with another girl), and he told me to check it all. I did, all 400+ of them and found out that he told that girl he didn't like me at all.

I was devastated.. When I went back to class I cried for the whole day. Later that night he SMSed me, telling me how sorry he was to break my heart because he tried to protect me, and that I would forgive him for doing this in such a crude manner. He also added that he would be there for me and would wait for me.

Naturally, this SMS confused me to no end. I mean, if you would be there for me, why break my heart in the first place? And what did he mean by protecting me?

So I confronted him. I only asked him one question "Do you love me?" and he couldn't answer. So I went back to my class, slammed the door and cried on my best friend's shoulder. After recess,I heard from my friend(who is also a friend of his) that he was in this relationship just to "see what it feels like to be in a relationship".So, I went to find him and slapped him in front of his entire class.

I was so angry and hurt.

I told myself to be strong, so I tried to forget this by distracting myself constantly. It worked until today.

My friend told me that he had a chat with my now ex yesterday, and he said he was completely dazed. He told my friend the real reason why he broke up with me.

He said it was to protect me from people hurling insults at both of us.. Because he was mixed, people call me a SPG(sarong party girl) for being in a relationship with him. Also, many called him an *******, and doesn't deserve someone like me. So he thought I deserved much better. As he couldn't bring himself to tell me, he told a few people in hopes that I would find out through them.. And I did.

I've always been strong. I am well known in school, there are people who love me as well as people who hate me. I get insults and greetings every day, so I'm really used to all those insults. He didn't have to break up with me to protect me from all that.

I thought I could move on, but what my friend told me really showed that I really still love him. I broke down again in front of my friend and was glum for the entire day. What bothers me more is the fact that he is doing the exact same thing.. My ex was no longer his own cheerful, optimistic self. He has completely changed.

I could not help but blame myself. Was I too harsh?

Then my friend told me to forget him and move on. Break ups=break up, so there is no use turning back. If I did, there would be more consequences. She told me that two people who are mutually in love do not have to be together. Unfortunately I do not have this mindset so I find it hard to comprehend.

People tell me that he still really loves me, and he cares for me still. Once bitten, twice shy. What if he does this again? And would he want to get back anyway? He has hurt me, but is that really for our own good?

Please share your opinions with me.. should I just move on?

**WinSton3** · 30-09-2009, 05:15 PM

he needs to learn more about relationship stuff. you too

and ask him to watch less romance drama and attend the Magic Workshop intro-posted by Xiao Xue.

anyway, let it go naturally. listen to "One Step At A Time" song. very nice

**HIPPO93** · 30-09-2009, 05:19 PM

i think he abit too pessimistic

what do he mean by He said it was to protect me from people hurling insults at both of us

to me this is probably an excuse.

if he really love you will he care about what people thk about u? and so what u get hurt by insults.

is just insults... everyone gets it all the time

i was often misunderstood last time, many people complaint about me to my bf. he nvr even told me that people complain to him let alone inform me about the complains because he knew i am not able to take it.
he stood by me when everyone misunderstands me in sch and gang up against me
but in the end i sitll somehow know about the insults because this kind of thing spreads like fire

even if he is really affected by these insults but u are not what.... why he care so much about what others say? its btw u and him not others.

ya u are too harsh alrd

i think if u want to go back to him should be ok de la . slowly sort out with him probably he doesnt know that u are strong enought to take these insults.

i thk he is the one that is not able to take these insults. you can encourage him and comfort him

**Squirrel<3Nuts** · 30-09-2009, 05:21 PM

Very difficult to judge whether what he told your friend is true or not. I think you better talk to him yourself abt this. But then who is this girl in the sms? Did you manage to ask her yourself?

& why are so many friends involving, telling you how your bf thinks/do? Just by what your friend said you went to slap him in front of the class?

I think from this moment if you got any doubts, you need to ask your boyfriend. Not even thru his friends, or your friend. Ask him yourself. Best not to discuss the matter with your friends currently, because it seems you are easily mis-lead by what your friend said.

If he don't love you, why would he still said he will wait for you? Wait for what? Zzzz.

**Joncallim** · 30-09-2009, 05:33 PM

Not easy to tell if everything is true... Just another possibility:

Maybe he was flirting with the other girl and then told her he doesn't like you (TS) so that she'll like him? And after that it could be that he realized what a goof-up that was. :p (as for not being able to answer that he loves you, i think he might have been embarrassed) So eventually, he comes up with some story to try and get you back.

Overall, i think you both have to learn alot about relationships. =) Why don't you ask him to explain exactly what happened, then if you do get the truth, you can start from there. Just my two cents. =)

kokojun · 30-09-2009, 05:44 PM

maybe the best way is to move on?

**Onii-chan** · 30-09-2009, 08:39 PM

Move on, girl. You deserve much better. From his actions, he just seem to be giving excuses for whatever he did, pushing the blame back to you. So just heck care about him and move on in your search for mr right.

**cherie_1992** · 30-09-2009, 08:43 PM

i guess move on bah ?

**Krystleee** · 30-09-2009, 08:50 PM

What a load of excuses. He's lying! someone who love you will go through thick and thin with you and brave those insults and whatever rubbish going on in your school. He's a coward.

MOVE ON BABE! YOU DEFINITELY DESERVE SOMEONE BETTER!

Maimai · 30-09-2009, 10:14 PM

Okay.. I'll talk to him tomorrow(Or Friday..), if it doesn't go well, i'll move on right away.

I'm going to give him a chance to explain things...

Stuoid_Panda · 30-09-2009, 10:18 PM

u r young.....

jus move on..

enjoy life...

!!!!

**Joncallim** · 30-09-2009, 10:18 PM

good for you.

And try not to imagine what it's going to be like to have that "talk", cos you're going to ruin your own expectations.

**RongRong** · 30-09-2009, 10:21 PM

I do think that you did the right here..Anw dun be sad =) Look at the bright side ya,there's other better boys which awaits you....

**xiinn** · 30-09-2009, 10:22 PM

you have to move on.
he said all that to protect you from insults, etc? it could just be an excuse. you may not noe.
your frens told you he still love you. but, have he ever showed tat in actions?

well, think about it. its takes time before a final decision is made.
and i believe you'll be fine after you found an answer.

Stuoid_Panda · 30-09-2009, 10:25 PM

if a guy say he love the gal after they break is all bull

cause if he really love...why not when still together n not after break up!

ABC is always ABC..

Alligator Buaya Crocodile

**Xiao Xue** · 30-09-2009, 10:27 PM

Ermmm.... I think he is confused and does not know wat he wants...

I feel this is something common in guys until they really mature in their thinking..... i think u deserve better ^^ Look forward bah!!!

Jiayou!

**Onii-chan** · 30-09-2009, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maimai

Okay.. I'll talk to him tomorrow(Or Friday..), if it doesn't go well, i'll move on right away.

I'm going to give him a chance to explain things...

I don't think you should. He would most likely be prepared to meet your questions with a whole bunch of excuses. The time spent talking to him, could be better spent elsewhere. Just let him go and move on, like what everyone else said: You do indeed deserve better.

Stuoid_Panda · 30-09-2009, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Onii-chan

I don't think you should. He would most likely be prepared to meet your questions with a whole bunch of excuses. The time spent talking to him, could be better spent elsewhere. Just let him go and move on, like what everyone else said: You do indeed deserve better.

he do it once. he will do again!

kokojun · 01-10-2009, 03:08 AM

if you want to talk over with him, then make sure you are able to control your emotions well.
i hope things will turn out better for you.

FlattenedCake · 01-10-2009, 03:14 AM

at first it sounded like an excuse but u said that he is also no longer cheerful? so maybe he still have feelings for u. but come to think of it, he said he did it to protect u frm insults, issit that he cant take it either??