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Old 15th July 2012, 05:19 PM   #1 (permalink)
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HELP NEEDED! ~~Grammer correction~~

Well.. I am supposed to submit a short essay and my teacher demands it to be flawless, so help is greatly appreciated.

Topic: What do you think are some qualities and skills that young people should possess in order for them to progress in the 21st century?

I strongly feel that young people of the 21st century should possess the following qualities; Self-directed work ethic and open to continuous learning.
To progress in a highly competitive society, we should always be open to continuous learning to pick up new skills to outshine our fellow competitors. However, one does not simply pick and master a skill, it requires a ton of hard work. Thus, having self directed work ethic the person is able to constantly monitor himself to focus on working to improve oneself, as well as, giving his hundred percent in his work.
Not forgetting that living in the 21st century is the century of technology, possessing information, media, and technology skill is a must.
Chancing upon a problem, we may access the internet for its vast sea of information in search of a solution. However, to access these information efficiently, we are required to have knowledge of basic IT skill. Also, if we are required to present the information we had collected, media skill comes to play as we make use of our media skill to help others interpret the intended message.
All in all, these are the following skills and qualities I feel that all young people of the 21st century should possess in order to progress successfully.



Thanks in advance to anyone who had spent time to read and correct my short essay

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Old 15th July 2012, 08:41 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: HELP NEEDED! ~~Grammer correction~~

Any comment??

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Old 18th July 2012, 09:47 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: HELP NEEDED! ~~Grammer correction~~

Well, my standard of English isn't very good but I think I can help with some basic errors.

Firstly, it should be 'ethics' and not 'ethic'. There is no singular form for ethics.

Secondly, in line 5, you should clearly indicate that its 'pick up and master a skill' because it would seem as though it is 'pick a skill' rather than 'pick up a skill' which have different meanings.

Thirdly, in line 6, it should be 'Thus, by having self directed work ethics, a person is able...' to make your sentence more precise.

In line 7, remove the second comma. The phrase 'as well as' already is inclusive of the last comma, such that the second comma can be ommitted. E.g;John, as well as his cat, and not;John, as well as, his cat.

For line 9, it should be rephrased to "Not forgetting that the 21st century is a century of technology, therefore/thus, possessing technology and media information is a must."

Line 13, it should be "knowledge of basic IT skills" instead of "skill".

Line 15, "Media skill" can be replaced with "it" as it had already been used earlier.

Yea I think that's about all.

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Old 18th July 2012, 09:57 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: HELP NEEDED! ~~Grammer correction~~

I tried editing your essay. Do check out this language site: lang-8.com
You can have your essays corrected by native speakers from England and America.

What do you think are some qualities and skills that young people should possess in order for them to progress in the 21st century?

I strongly feel that young people of the 21st century should possess the following qualities; Self-directed work ethics and openness to continuous learning.

To progress in a highly competitive society, we should always be open to continuous learning in order to pick up new skills to outshine our fellow competitors. However, one does not pick up and master a skill easily as it requires a lot of hard work. Thus with self directed work ethics, one would be able to constantly monitor himself to focus on working on self improvement as well as putting in his best in his work.

Not forgetting that the 21st century is one of technology, information and media, and good technological skills are a must.


When we stumble upon a problem, we may access the internet for its vast sea of information in search of a solution. However, to access information efficiently, we are required to have some basic knowledge of IT. Besides that, if we are required to present the information we have collected, our media skills come to play in order to help others interpret the intended message.

All in all, these are the following skills and qualities I feel that all young people of the 21st century should possess in order to progress successfully.

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Old 19th July 2012, 07:37 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: HELP NEEDED! ~~Grammer correction~~

Thanks for the help!
Rhapsody92 I'll try lang-8.com next time~

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Old 30th July 2012, 06:08 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: HELP NEEDED! ~~Grammer correction~~

If you Need any kind of help in writing essay,dissertation of even your home work,then this Essay Writing Service would be the best for you.
I am referring you this site because I have personally ordered 3 or 4 times when I was in university.

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