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Old 10th February 2010, 08:57 AM   #1 (permalink)
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How do we protect our children online?

With the recent topics on sex related issue, most forumers here blame in on the easy access of the internet.

As much as I do agree with them, I really don't solely blame the internet, parents or teacher. Personally for me, Blaming and pointing fingers is not in my dictionary...

With modern technology getting so complicated for parent to keep in pace, how do we protect out beloved children online? Beside maid, today generation children spent more time with their latest gadget like computer, psp and hp.

And with modern technology too, criminal are advance too. No more pimp goes looking for innocent children to recruit in the on slum area just like in the movie slumdog millionaire. Even some prostitutes make deal online. Children as young as 13 are targeting pedophile online for quick buck. In short anything be it good or bad, mostly bad, can be done by a click of a mouse...

Views???

PS.: Please refrain from parent bashing...Really hate when topic became a bashing thread..

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Old 10th February 2010, 09:12 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: How do we protect our children online?

Maybe we shouldn't let kids get exposed to the internet at a young age.
Parental control is important too

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Old 10th February 2010, 09:15 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: How do we protect our children online?

There's a software to control the computer, parental control or something. Some anti virus software comes with it.

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Old 10th February 2010, 09:16 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: How do we protect our children online?

i think internet explorer can block certain sites if im not wrong...

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Old 10th February 2010, 09:22 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: How do we protect our children online?

I think all these internet control stuffs doesn't work...

its like pub is dangerous, i will bar them from going; to prevent premarital sex, i will control their actions, etc...

Most importantly is to teach them the correct values, train them to have higher integrity, ethics, so in future, not only when they are young, they will be able to put these values into practice.

Instead of blocking them from the internet sites, why not tell them the seriousness of it.

I don't believe in watching porn would cause a man to become a rapist, but its more of the inability to restraint self control from within.

One day if i have a kid of my own, i want him to understand that we should respect woman/girls, be prepared to shoulder total responsibility before engaging in any intimate relationship, and not just because i had told him so without understanding.

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Old 10th February 2010, 09:31 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: How do we protect our children online?

No use blocking them, teach them what is right and wrong.
If they still does, you cant blame them unless someone lure them with what ever means.

Blocking websites and restriction them are of no use, they can get it somewhere else,
Even worst if they have practical on spot in their friends' house. Ain't it?

It's necessary to give them the knowledge that they wanted to ease their curiosity.
If they wanted to try, teach them how to self-pleasure.

It doesn't hurt ain't it, unless you wanted them to look out for partners actively.

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Old 10th February 2010, 09:41 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: How do we protect our children online?

Personally for me, I'm also not into blocking. The more you restrict them, the more curios they will be..Educate and input positive values in them is more of my way of teaching them what wrong and right.

The problem is, as they grow, they will be spending more outside rather than with us parent and thus the distraction out there is more tempting and fun compare to home and all the good upbringing and values that you implant earlier will eventually faded.

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Old 10th February 2010, 12:36 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: How do we protect our children online?

i wonder... is there a way we can gain input from adults who have felt they were aware and in control in their youth. what worked? how about you guys? what did you think worked for you? problem i find with education is that it isn't as simple as knowledge giving. there are many ways to go about one issue, and sometimes most of those ways end up focusing on the wrong factor.

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Old 10th February 2010, 12:42 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: How do we protect our children online?

That's why in my post, i stated practical approach instead of boring theory lessons =X

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Old 10th February 2010, 12:46 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: How do we protect our children online?

As a parent with very young kids myself, I see that is concern that most parent will eventually fear..As a parent myself, I do know what good and bad for them but as a child they might mistook us being strict, ununderstanding or not up to date..

As much as I want them to grow up and being a usefull person to the nation and most importantly themselves, I also want them to enjoy their childhood life...

How I wish I can just let them playing outside playing marbles, top or kite, but that unrealistic because the only marbles i saw is in my fish tank for my fish to play..

Keeping up with modern technology is very tough for most parent, as we can't catchup with their pace given the thought that we do have other responsibilities..But if we don't keep the pace, we parent will be lost as that is the language spoken by the current generation..

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Old 10th February 2010, 12:46 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Re: How do we protect our children online?

lol. personally after giving much thought, i actually think fear worked really well. getting taught about STDs even before i knew about the details of sex did keep me at bay for a while, till you realize most virgins of asian descent have low chance of genetic STDs and hence the fear fades.

maybe if people were educated, shown videos of the problems with unplanned parenthood, the hardships, people might be feared into wearing condoms more. if people were educated and shown videos of victims to online predators, maybe our youth will practice more restraint in their online conversations.

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Old 10th February 2010, 12:50 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Re: How do we protect our children online?

well, if only entertainment is not found to be the sole source for leisure, why not make full use of the time spending with them. though it helps to reduce the usage time on the net, its not fully feasible.

blocking the internet source or websites will only arouse kid's curiosity in finding out what available behind it.

by spending quality time to explain and teach them the right moral for cyber well-being is important too.

if only advance technology is not invented...
if only schools decide not to implement online assessments...

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Old 10th February 2010, 12:52 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Re: How do we protect our children online?

The more u wanna control the kids the more they will wonder. Be a friend with them, understand their probs and talk with them as much as possible. Even if u stop them from having exposed to the web, in school their guy frens will eventually talk to them about it.

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Old 10th February 2010, 01:09 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Re: How do we protect our children online?

Parents should sit the kids down and have heart to heart talks. This would probably work if its a few years back but now...look at the kids. tsktsk.

parents cannot always shelter their kids. they are bound to find out through various media.
news and friends..

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Old 10th February 2010, 01:13 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Re: How do we protect our children online?

easy
dont let them go ONLINE!

last time i only have connections to the internet when i was in sec 1??

and my sister already have connections at primary 2
*sweat*

its way too fast

i got my personal handphone at sec 3
while my sister got it at pri 5

no wonder kids these days are all corrupted


Last edited by lousydk; 10th February 2010 at 01:15 PM.
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Old 10th February 2010, 01:22 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Re: How do we protect our children online?

Originally Posted by FBI View Post
. Be a friend with them, understand their probs and talk with them as much as possible.
Be friend...this is the most misunderstood phrase in child upbringing...

Neither the kid nor the parent want to be friend to each other...I personally told my kids, I don't want to be his friend because he does have his own circle of friends..

I am just a father to him and as a father, I will do my very best to protect and guide him. I'm open to any conversation be it, studies or bgr or whatsoever..In short, if there's problem my kids can't solve, he knows where to find one. I will not solve for him, just show him the direction..Oftentimes, there's always 2 direction..Make a good decision is part as growing up..

Personally for me, bringing up children, was never a one way street..Parent as well as children have to speak each other "language".

zainynn added 5 Minutes and 6 Seconds later...

Originally Posted by lousydk View Post
easy
dont let them go ONLINE!

last time i only have connections to the internet when i was in sec 1??

and my sister already have connections at primary 2
*sweat*

its way too fast

i got my personal handphone at sec 3
while my sister got it at pri 5

no wonder kids these days are all corrupted
Time changes as it flies..During my teenage life there's no internet or hp..Maybe same goes to your parent..So would you be happy if your parent stop you from having a hp at sec 3...I guess not..

So, in keeping up with changes, as parent we should forget what good to have and what need to..and for kids, appreciate everything that you have and not for granted..

You see...parent were kids once and kids will be parent one day..


Last edited by zainynn; 10th February 2010 at 01:27 PM. Reason: Post Bumping
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Old 7th April 2010, 12:03 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Re: How do we protect our children online?

Try to use ProteMac KeyBag)))

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Old 7th April 2010, 12:10 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Re: How do we protect our children online?

It really depends on the child's age. An Internet filter / site-blocking (e.g., KidZui) should definitely be used for kids under 10 (and perhaps under 13).

Thereafter, blocking/filtering is impractical. So instead, the parents should rely on other strategies like limiting the child's daily Internet usage, putting the home computer in the living room or some equally common-access space in the house, and having a non-confrontational discussion with him/her about the dangers of the Internet (especially online chats with strangers).


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Old 7th April 2010, 08:40 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Re: How do we protect our children online?

The best way to protect is to educate them.

We cannot refrain and avoid forever. Conversations in school bound to arise their curiousity and will experiment when left alone.

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Old 7th April 2010, 10:04 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Re: How do we protect our children online?

zainynn, if anything, read the final paragraph of this post of mine even if you were to skip the rest of my post.

When the child is young (primary school ages), the parents has to act like parents. Only when the child is growing up further, reaching teens or in their teens, the parents have to evolve their role to be more like a friend.

When your child is already a teen, they will listen more to their friends, not the authoritarian/disciplinarian figure in their life. They want to be treated as an equal, to be treated with respect and thus if a parent doesn't know how to do that, you will find your child not willing to share much with you, and just like what you see in "i not stupid", the replies you get from them will be a "mm" "ah" "orh"

If your children are primary school ages, they need a lot of attention, and a lot of quality time spent in guiding them, affirming them (very important), and teaching them the right values. A very stable family environment is also very important. Or as this quote goes "the best thing a father can ever do for his children is to love their mother". When children see that their parents are loving and stables, it introduces stability in their lives as well and they learn good values through imitation.

Blocking them from internet is an exercise in futility. Spending time with them getting to know what they're surfing, play together with them (whatever they may be playing online or on facebook), be an expert of what they're interested in and of their lives and you will go far in reducing the impact of their exposure to danger online. Get to know their friends, chat with them, in truth, really be like a friend to them too on certain levels. Don't just say, u cannot befriend this person, that person is bad etc. That's futile.

zainynn, I work with children in the social services setting. I wish to say this. In the world of the internet, all the dangers that you are afraid of comes from adults. If you, as an adult, as your child's father, you don't work to also be a friend to him, then don't be surprised if your child looks to other adults to give him/her what they need. Because ultimately, other adults know what your child wants, and that's something your child's own friends cannot give or provide.

I can even go deeper into this but I won't want to bore you.

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