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Old 28th April 2010, 11:23 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Hurt and Disappointment

I have really no idea where to post this;i hope this thread is appropriate.

Recently,I went for a TFCD photoshoot by one of the hobby photographers in sgclub. It was my first experience,I knew it was risky meeting someone I totally dont know. It sounded interesting and I wanted to try it out,at least once in my life,to gain experience. So I went with my friend to meet him. I told my family about it;they didnt encourage me of course,just told me to be careful. It was a beach photoshoot cause I love the sun,sand and sea.
Which means I have to wear a bikini right? I know it's not necessary to ONLY wear a bikini at the beach,but yeah, the photographer gave me suggestions like what theme he'd like to take and everything. So it was just a simple bikini shot and another bikini shot with me wearing a white blouse and bikini bottom.

It was rather fun,everythinng went well,he editted the photos,sent them to me,end of story.
One of the photos i thought was rather nice,I used it as my facebook profile picture. I had 2 friends (one male one female) who liked the photo,and no one else commented it was obscene or whatsoever. I thought it was decent enough cause it was me looking over my shoulder at the camera,the only thing that is revealing is that people can see i'm wearing bikini bottoms.

I changed the profile picture yesterday. That only photo out of the whole photoshoot was uploaded a month ago as profile picture. It was quite a while ago already.
Apparently,maybe the news feed let my friends know that i had a change in profile picture,someone clicked on it(my profile pics album),and that person happened to be my cousin.

I didnt know till she sent me this vulgar,hurtful and insulting msg to me.
I'm gonna type the entire msg here,pardon the vulgarities cause i'm too lazy to censor them.
"Can euu pls grow up? Eu are just ****ing vain!whyy must euu go capture tat of photo?! Tink eur figure is ****ing nice den meet sumone euu duno and nv meet before den wear bikini let him see? Den if he rape euu what will euu do?euu wan to play isit? Andd euu tink tat is fun oso huh? Euu knw euu let me feel tat euu are bitch! Can anyhow let euu see and use! If anythin happen to euu i can sae eur mum will hate euu!! Euu are jus throwing our face! Ask eur close fren or eur other cousin euu done all tis ting isit euu are vain and can anyhow let ppl use!"

I really dont know what to say.
Of course it's partially my fault that i've taken this risk. But my parents know about it. And i had a friend go with me,she was there with me throughout the whole thing.
If I'm not close to her and she feels that i'm a bitch because of this,fine.
But i'm utterly disappointed with her. We grew up together and she doesnt know what kind of person I am? And judged me just based on one photo?

What do you think?

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Old 28th April 2010, 11:34 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Hurt and Disappointment

are you guys constantly butting heads? its weird to get such a message from a cousin out of the blue unless she has always had issues with your lifestyle or attitude?

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Old 28th April 2010, 11:39 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Hurt and Disappointment

Originally Posted by Kaelyn View Post
"Can euu pls grow up? Eu are just ****ing vain!whyy must euu go capture tat of photo?! Tink eur figure is ****ing nice den meet sumone euu duno and nv meet before den wear bikini let him see? Den if he rape euu what will euu do?euu wan to play isit? Andd euu tink tat is fun oso huh? Euu knw euu let me feel tat euu are bitch! Can anyhow let euu see and use! If anythin happen to euu i can sae eur mum will hate euu!! Euu are jus throwing our face! Ask eur close fren or eur other cousin euu done all tis ting isit euu are vain and can anyhow let ppl use!"

I don't know how is your cousin. But the way she typed the msg to you kinda of .... xiao meimei kind . * no offense thou .* but aiya . since both your parents know about it this . Why want to bother her comments ? Maybe she is jealous about you . You never know . Just don't think so negatively (:

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Old 28th April 2010, 11:41 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Hurt and Disappointment

Either she misunderstand you(think too much), care a lot for you,
anger that got to do with photographer(or experience/hear of similar situations before)?

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Old 28th April 2010, 11:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Hurt and Disappointment

woah i understand why you feel this way man thats just too harsh imo..
even if she meant well she should have been more tactful.. that or she was just venting out on you..
i sure wont take it well if this were to happen to me..

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Old 28th April 2010, 11:45 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Hurt and Disappointment

she might be protective over you and worried about your safety..
so she said those hurtful comments out of anger.
she might also be jealous because you look good in those pics? (Im just assuming)

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Old 28th April 2010, 11:51 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Hurt and Disappointment

-workingtoohard: nope we're fine. But she's sometimes too full of herself,yaya papaya,think she so smart. That's my opinion of her now.

-claraguigui: she's those ah lian ah lian kind. but not hardcore,just act ah lian,never smoke or what. She's not a xiao mei mei,she's gonna be 20 this year. Yeah maybe she's jealous,cause she'd look pretty if she slimmed down. She not very fat,but those ba ba kind trying to lose fats around the vital areas. Heavy bottom and everything. My family and relatives mean alot to me,that's why i got affected. I've only got her family and my uncle's family left for my mom's side,so i really cant lose these cousins.

-iMUSIC: misunderstanding possible,but she refuses to listen to me,keep thinking i'm vain blah blah,if she's concerned she's showing it in an extreme and wrong way. Many people have heard of rapes and scams but i made it back fine. It's dangerous but not fair to many photographers,we cant stereotype them like that leh. She has never gone for a photoshoot before -.-

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Old 28th April 2010, 11:55 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Hurt and Disappointment

I see.
In that case , she is actually care for you . But , that's her way showing her care and concern

Don't worry . She protecting you don't want to get hurt (:

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Old 28th April 2010, 11:57 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Hurt and Disappointment

-ioiox: yeah too harsh. I was so upset and disappointed and hurt i cried the whole night and didnt sleep much,and i had an 8am presentation in the morning. FML.

-kokojun: I understand that maybe she's concerned. But she's seriously taking it too far and expressing her concern in a wrong way. My parents didnt even get so worked up -.- my friend suggested jealousy cause i have quite a few friends who said i looked good in the photo,nice picture etc. And my cousin's slightly bigger size than me. She has big eyes and everything,pretty if she's slim,but too bad, no character. She's a bit ah lian-ish and quite whiny.

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Old 28th April 2010, 11:59 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Hurt and Disappointment

Just put those words of advice in your heart ignore the rude words. It doesn't mean you are always going for those shoots mah. Ya we cannot stereotype people, but we have to know these people better first..but it take a lot of time actually. And don't randomly let people take picture of you, especially in such suits.
Don't anyhow put trust on people.

I believe that's what actually she mean(if in a nicer way/tone)

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Old 29th April 2010, 12:01 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Re: Hurt and Disappointment

Ignore her. Do not take a person " huu types lykk dis" seriously. Seriously.

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Old 29th April 2010, 12:02 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Re: Hurt and Disappointment

I think ur cousin is most probably jealous den scold u de... Can feel the jealousy from the sms she sent u... Is either she's jealous or she is really old-fashioned thinking and oso abit bitchy(no offense)...

Just my point of view...

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Old 29th April 2010, 12:07 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Re: Hurt and Disappointment

Its only a bikini shots, not nude or anything. And i can tell u every parents will be proud of their daughter who will be a model somehow, not for RIs Low case however.

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Old 29th April 2010, 09:58 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Re: Hurt and Disappointment

iMUSIC: yeah i know. And i just can't believe she said all those. Her way of expressing is wrong but too bad,she wont listen to me. I'm never going to go for these kind of photoshoots anymore.

-ShamProphet: Hahaha! Can't help it. I hate twits who type like this too. SERIOUSLY cant stand them. But she's my cousin,no choice.

-Grosteque: Everything you said is possible except the old fashioned part.

-FBI: They'll be proud if their daughter was a decent model. I'm not looking for fame. Not really interested in showbiz or modelling. People have asked me to go modelling (more for my height) but the modelling world is too screwed up for me. I took the photoshoot just to experience how it was like.

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Old 29th April 2010, 03:09 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Re: Hurt and Disappointment

i taste sour grape from what she wrote..

and the language she used.. Euuu..

it's pain to try n read her typing.. she is asking you to grow up and yet, she feel like just another xmm to me..

Amulet added 1 Minutes and 57 Seconds later...

Originally Posted by ShamProphet View Post
Ignore her. Do not take a person " huu types lykk dis" seriously. Seriously.
second this

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Old 29th April 2010, 03:30 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Re: Hurt and Disappointment

One word: Jealous

The best way to deal with this is to ignore her...since u alr decided u wun do it again, den just let it rest lor...

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Old 29th April 2010, 04:17 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Re: Hurt and Disappointment

Originally Posted by Kaelyn View Post
-workingtoohard: nope we're fine. But she's sometimes too full of herself,yaya papaya,think she so smart. That's my opinion of her now.
she can't be that smart. She doesn't even know how to spell 'you'.

best advice - ignore her. better still, you can 'un-friend' her.

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Old 2nd May 2010, 11:12 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Re: Hurt and Disappointment

-amulet: yeah. oh well. She's petty as well cause there was this fb photo,those cartoon ones,she tagged everyone but me. So i guess i've actually lost a cousin.

-kpoppermay: ignoring her. But she's doing the same too and I dunno how to face her when there's a famly gathering.

-knyghtryder: We're related by blood.How to unfriend her? I feel that i've lost a cousin and it makes me even more sad..

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Old 2nd May 2010, 03:21 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Re: Hurt and Disappointment

Sometimes there are people out there who verbally attacks everyone they see, no matter whether they are concerned, worried, jealous, angry or happy. Her words may have stingers, but it all depends on how you want to see it. If you imagine that she is saying out of concern and worry, then maybe you will be more careful about such photoshoots next time. If you feel that she said it out of jealousy, you will discount what she say and think she is a bxxxh. If she think that she behaves like a mad barking dog to everyone you will ignore what she wrote all together. If you feel insecure and believe there is an element of truth in what she said, you will feel sad. Of course, besides what she said, you are also shocked by her sudden attack, that someone whom you thought you can trust can deliver a fatal blow to you. Perhaps it is the loss of such safety that drove you to your many tears.

Try to reflect and think about how you feel, and how you want to feel. You will then know how you want to react the next time you see her, and can also choose how you will want to interpret her words/actions the next time. All the best!

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Old 6th May 2010, 09:09 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Re: Hurt and Disappointment

Originally Posted by Kaelyn View Post
-knyghtryder: We're related by blood.How to unfriend her? I feel that i've lost a cousin and it makes me even more sad..
related by blood doesn't give her the right to say bad things to you. just go ahead and unfriend her.. what for make your life miserable?

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