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Old 10th May 2010, 12:29 PM   #1 (permalink)
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is this my fault???

is checking up on your younger sister facebook account and checking her sms n phone something? i did post anything or say anything on her profile but just to know what she's is doing and her activities.

i did all these as i love and care for her, i know this is invasion of privacy but what i did is coming from good intention. i dont want her to get into bad influence and i know alot of guys ( hongsters ) are wanting to know her for bad intentions .


what's worst is that her friend ( bad influence kind , i suppose ) kept on be with her, after what i done, they even say they will do what it takes to protect her.....what the hell is this seriously? im her brother while they are just friends, is a friend closer than a brother? i doubt so......

my mom is busy working all the time so she cant look after her and tasked me to looked after her, my dad is divorce with my mom.as her brother, i have the responsibility to look after her and protect her, but why does she dont undertand!!!

she is 16 while im 17, but remember that i do all these from the point of good intention.

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Old 10th May 2010, 12:33 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: is this my fault???

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"

Have you tried sitting down with her to have a good talk with her instead of snooping around?

If all along you never have the rapport with her and you're now suddenly doing stuff like this, it will not come as a surprise that she will feel very pricked by your actions.

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Old 10th May 2010, 12:36 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: is this my fault???

Would you like your mum or dad to check your stuff too on the other hand?
Yes, although you guys are sibling but please give her some privacy because care and concern doesn't need to be shown via this extreme method.
I wouldn't like my older sister to check my acct, wallet & handphone too..Doing things like that could easily backfire

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Old 10th May 2010, 12:48 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: is this my fault???

The intention is good but the approach is not

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Old 10th May 2010, 12:50 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: is this my fault???

then what other ways can i do to protect her???

what cant she just understand what im doing for her is a good thing while her friends are not???????!!!!

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Old 10th May 2010, 12:54 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: is this my fault???

why do u deemed her friends as bad anyway?

R u close to yr sister before?

Have you done anything to piss her off...?

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Old 10th May 2010, 12:59 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: is this my fault???

Originally Posted by cag1993 View Post
then what other ways can i do to protect her???

what cant she just understand what im doing for her is a good thing while her friends are not???????!!!!
How do you define good thing and bad thing for her? I would say just show her care and support when she need it, advise her in a nice tone when she approach you, become a big brother to protect her instead of a father role to lecture her..

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Old 10th May 2010, 01:06 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: is this my fault???

Although there is nothing wrong with your intention but your method of "protecting" her is totally wrong.

If you care about her, you should have a talk with her, highlight your concerns but do not criticise her friends.

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Old 10th May 2010, 02:49 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: is this my fault???

i agree that talking to her is the best solution...
if she ever finds out that you look at her stuff at her back, things is gonna get worse.

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Old 10th May 2010, 04:03 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: is this my fault???

No offence meant but TS is being more of a stalker than a caring brother.
She is already 16 and needs her own privacy.

Show your care and concern by trusting her, not doubting her.

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Old 10th May 2010, 05:43 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Re: is this my fault???

Wrong. People also need privacy.
Will you be happy if your sister checks your SMS, facebook etc. ?

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Old 10th May 2010, 05:49 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Re: is this my fault???

maybe you should have spoken to her like chit chat

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Old 10th May 2010, 06:52 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Re: is this my fault???

check her phone .. zzz? you his brother not parents

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Old 10th May 2010, 06:54 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Re: is this my fault???

Even the parents dont check SMS.... Facebook is fine but SMS... not so much

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Old 10th May 2010, 07:02 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Re: is this my fault???

It's the exact same mistake I've made.

Checking sms-es of my twin sister. (But that was in secondary school, but still, no excuses)

NEVER DO IT, really.

It's your fault. As a respected brother, you should be a role model for your sister, by doing so, means having an open communication with her and not snooping around like that.

This act of yours will just add on to whatever bads she thought of you.

You still have the chance to make up to your sister.

Good Luck!

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Old 10th May 2010, 07:03 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Re: is this my fault???

i would suggest you to first tell her you're sorry because you were worried for her and that you wouldn't do it again.
subsequently try to be friends with her and less of a protective brother.
i think the approach of being a friend that she can talk and relate to is better than you going the hard way by using methods like these to check up on her.
the more you try to control her,
the more she's going to stray away from you.
just my 2 cents worth

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Old 10th May 2010, 07:03 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Re: is this my fault???

its too much.
sister or not, they need their own private space.
best way would be to sit down like once every other day to talk with her, get to know her better.
let her understand your intention.
from the way you are doing it, no wonder she became more rebellious.

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Old 10th May 2010, 07:15 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Re: is this my fault???

haha
just check check bah
dont be too in depth

i know u care for her
i care for my sis too

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Old 10th May 2010, 07:18 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Re: is this my fault???

She is 16 years old. Means she can take care of herself & have thoughts in herself.

Taking care is good. But not too overprotecting. If not, your sister might hate you instead of love you. Cause you might be worse than her future gf on controlling stuff.

As long she know her goals. What is right or wrong in life. She will be a well mature person. So you don't have to worry about this. Nag at her a bit on things can. But not too over.

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Old 10th May 2010, 10:34 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Re: is this my fault???

What you did is totally wrong, unless with permission. You are deem wrong in doing so.
By doing so, you will break the trust of her on you. Thus harder to approach.
Being with her friends, and indeed really in a bad company, you will lose her trust with just minor talks from her friends.

You should know how friends works, with that age, she would trust her friends more then some stalker at home.
Who knows you might even peep when she shower, to check if she have any injuries.

That's sounds like she have a pathetic brother. Then someone who is there to show concern and protect her.
A life with someone who makes you feel like you have no privacy.

You better stop what you're doing before it get worst.

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