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Old 30th May 2009, 02:22 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Making the right decision

My mom remarried, and then that man that she married got a very bad temper. My mom now lives with that man. so got one time i go to that man house cause i want ask money from my mom, he then use hammer to chase me don let me take money from my mom then i call the police. now i live with my uncle for about 5 months+, but my aunt don't like me and she like to treat me like maid. what should i do? My mom now live with that man (same blk as my old house but different storeys) and my old house is now empty ,should i move back to my old house and live alone? i have keep this things inside my heart for damn long already until i cannot take it anymore so i decided to make this thread. i am 17 this year. anyone can tell me what to do?


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Old 30th May 2009, 03:36 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Making the right decision

If i am you. i will move back to my old hse

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Old 30th May 2009, 03:38 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Making the right decision

i also thinking of moving back my old house but how should i tell my uncle? really very stress.

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Old 31st May 2009, 04:18 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Making the right decision

I think it's good to still have an adult you can speak to when you need assistance.

Living at your old place would mean that there would be a need to electrical/water supply bills, phone bills.
And then there is food and other stuff.

So how is it settled, now that it is empty. And would it still be settled that way if you move back in?

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Old 31st May 2009, 04:22 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Making the right decision

somehow it seems like cinderella to me..
okay that's not my main point.
hmm.. you're still young. Will you be able to support yourself if you are intending to shift back to your old flat? Talk to your uncle first before making a final decision.
You can perhaps let him know your reasons as to why you want to move back..
See what he says yea... do let us know how things goes!

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Old 31st May 2009, 04:25 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Making the right decision

If you're still schooling and don't have a job, then I advise you continue to stay with your uncle.
Just endure your aunt for 1 more year and you're going to army soon right?
Bottomline is you must have financial strength to look after yourself, else
it's better to stay with your relative.


Last edited by Kisuke; 31st May 2009 at 04:26 AM.
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Old 31st May 2009, 12:00 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Making the right decision

2011 then i go army so is 2 more years. Electrical & water supply bills i will talk to my mom about it. my phone bills i will pay myself because it is less than $15 per months (prepaid) cause i don have much friends. Food i can settle myself cause i know some basic cooking. June holiday is coming already, so i can earn some money to support myself. What should i do? How should i tell my uncle about it?

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Old 31st May 2009, 12:33 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Making the right decision

I'm guessing that you are still studying? If you are, is living with you uncle and aunt affecting your studies?

Not sure about this, but your aunt might be making you do housework and stuff as your repayment for their "kindness" to take you in.
I wouldn't have a problem if that were the case, but I'm not you, and neither do I know the actual situation.

Another thing, does your stepfather have access to your home? Because you're not in very good terms with him, so being alone at home may not be as safe as you think it would be.
To him it could be like, you're not his son, why should he take care of you.

If you have already thought through it and still want to move back, then you can start by asking him for some time over tea/coffee at a coffeeshop or something like that.
Then tell him what has been bothering you, starting with thanking him for taking you in, then your studies, followed by what's affecting it.
Then let him know that you are considering moving back to your home. And what you have planned up if you were to move back.

Listen to what he has to say about it before actually deciding.

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Old 31st May 2009, 12:46 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Making the right decision

ya living with my uncle and aunt will affect my studies. why i say like this because, when i want to use the computer do so homework they don let me use. housework i everyday do, even i am tired my aunt also don let me off.

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Old 31st May 2009, 12:51 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Making the right decision

Then yeah, I'd suggest talking to your uncle w/o your aunt being around.

Thank him 1st, then let him know your about your studies and what's affecting it. Tell him you don't want to end up on bad terms with either of them.

Then tell him about your plan, and ask what does he think about it.

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Old 31st May 2009, 12:56 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Re: Making the right decision

Originally Posted by Namelessboi View Post
2011 then i go army so is 2 more years. Electrical & water supply bills i will talk to my mom about it. my phone bills i will pay myself because it is less than $15 per months (prepaid) cause i don have much friends. Food i can settle myself cause i know some basic cooking. June holiday is coming already, so i can earn some money to support myself. What should i do? How should i tell my uncle about it?
How are you going to get the money from your mum when you goty chased out the last time? is tehre a teacher you can confide in and who can give you guidance? Please be realistic. How much can you earn during the June school break to cover your expenses for the long haul. Do you have cousins you can talk to?

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Old 31st May 2009, 01:08 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Re: Making the right decision

my mom got give me money thru bank transfer. there is no one that i can talk to already that why i make this thread. how to be realistic? if i am going to stay at my uncle house, me myself will suffer.

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Old 31st May 2009, 01:10 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Re: Making the right decision

Are you sure you are unable to talk to your uncle? Have you tried?

Otherwise your best bet is to talk to your form teacher/tutor already.

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Old 31st May 2009, 01:44 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Re: Making the right decision

Well...living alone is no joke everything must do your own self wash laundry,cook, do household chores but then again,if u decide to shift back ur old house i think is a good choice rather than being ill-treated and make yourself suffer
so you decide whether do u want to be your own maid? or be your uncle's maid?

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Old 31st May 2009, 02:01 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Re: Making the right decision

If you stay on you own and start the holiday job, you'll meet all sorts of people and not all will prove good influence. In loneliness, people may not see and think straight and that's where danger lurks. It's not one week that you're thinking of but surviving the 2 years before NS. At 17, getting a good education should be your only priority. That will lead to choices and better things after this difficult chapter.

What sort of suffering are you referring to? Being nagged at by your aunt? Having to help with the household chores? You say your aunt doesn't like you. In working life, you can't choose only people you like to be around with to have around you either.

Life cannot always be smooth sailing. Setback, trials and tribulations are life's tests and helps us become stronger persons.

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Old 31st May 2009, 02:24 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Re: Making the right decision

have you started looking for a job already?
just a few hundred during this month wont be able to last you for long..

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Old 31st May 2009, 08:09 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Re: Making the right decision

Originally Posted by Namelessboi View Post
2011 then i go army so is 2 more years. Electrical & water supply bills i will talk to my mom about it. my phone bills i will pay myself because it is less than $15 per months (prepaid) cause i don have much friends. Food i can settle myself cause i know some basic cooking. June holiday is coming already, so i can earn some money to support myself. What should i do? How should i tell my uncle about it?
It's going to be quite tough, but since you're already 17, and if you've it all consider and planned, I would say 'why not?' . But after posting my reply the other day, I can't help but want ask you why don't you rent out a room from your empty flat? Won't that solve most of your financial woes? BTW bro, I know it's tough surviving alone. But so far you've been dealing your problems at a positive notes and that's really a good thing. Please don't be discouraged, I'm sure your life will be better soon. 加油加油!


Last edited by Kisuke; 31st May 2009 at 08:10 PM.
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Old 31st May 2009, 08:12 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Re: Making the right decision

talk to him?

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Old 31st May 2009, 08:18 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Re: Making the right decision

I think move back to your old house . You will have more freedom there . Maybe you will have a better environment for you to study there ?

But you said that your mother transfer money to you through bank right ? Is it enough for you to use for a whole month with you living at your uncle's house now ? If already not enough don't think you should move back to your old house .

All the best .

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Old 31st May 2009, 08:26 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Re: Making the right decision

Originally Posted by Kisuke View Post
It's going to be quite tough, but since you're already 17, and if you've it all consider and planned, I would say 'why not?' . But after posting my reply the other day, I can't help but want ask you why don't you rent out a room from your empty flat? Won't that solve most of your financial woes? BTW bro, I know it's tough surviving alone. But so far you've been dealing your problems at a positive notes and that's really a good thing. Please don't be discouraged, I'm sure your life will be better soon. 加油加油!
he cant rent out a room unless the flat name is under him. So yeah if TS want to rent u need your mum's assistance bah...

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Last edited by diesopain; 31st May 2009 at 08:27 PM.
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