Marry me at deathbed now to inherit my flat
Cancer-stricken man, grateful to neighbour for nursing him, dies 5 hours after hospital solemnisation
By Hedy Khoo
February 09, 2009
SHE was devoted to him. He was dying of cancer, and she stayed by his side, continuing to care for him even when he became incontinent and she had to bathe and clean him.
They were not husband and wife, yet they did not need wedding rites to seal their love.
They were legally married only when he was on his deathbed. And only because he wanted to leave his flat to her.
The bride turned widow on the same day. He died hours after signing their marriage certificate.
Their marriage was the most memorable one for solemniser Mr David Loh, 61, who conducted the ceremony by the 64-year-old groom's hospital bed.
Though the marriage took place 61/2 years ago, on 29 August 2002, the memory is fresh in his mind.
'It was the most touching marriage I ever saw. It was the saddest, but I could feel there was so much real unconditional love between the two of them,' he said.
He declined to give their names, saying he wanted to respect the privacy of the wife and her family.
Mr Loh had received an urgent call the day before to solemnise the marriage. 'I didn't ask any questions when I heard the location was at the National University Hospital,' he recalled.
ENDURING LOVE: The 64-year-old cancer patient, seen here with his then 50-year-old neighbour, was so weak that he could barely speak during the solemnisation at his hospital bed.
It was only when he reached the venue the next day that he learnt of the circumstances of this mature couple's marriage.
'When I arrived, I was quite surprised because I saw the couple and two young women in their late 20s and they already seemed like a family to me,' he said.
He had assumed the two young women were the couple's daughters from their behaviour. 'They treated the man like he was their father,' he recalled.
He then found out that the two young women were the grown-up daughters of the 50-year-old bride and the groom was actually their downstairs neighbour at a block of three-room flats in Bukit Merah.
'The groom then told me that his neighbour and her two daughters had taken care of him throughout his illness and he wanted to marry her so that she could have his flat when he passed away in order to repay their kindness,' recounted Mr Loh.
Sceptical of the motives of the bride-to-be, Mr Loh said he questioned the man further.
'I wanted to make sure he knew what he was doing. I asked him if he really wanted to marry the woman and if he was sure that she would become the owner of his flat should he pass away,' said Mr Loh.
But the man's answer was resolute. He replied that he knew he was dying. The doctors had already told him there was nothing more they could do except give him medication to ease his pain.
The man told Mr Loh that he knew he could lose consciousness soon and thus wanted to ensure that the 50-year-old woman who nursed him through his illness could inherit his three-room HDB flat.
Mr Loh then spoke to the woman and her two daughters in order to find out more. 'I observed that they were indeed very attentive to him,' he recalled.
'They would wipe his mouth because he could not control his salivation, and the woman would constantly be watching him and adjusting his blanket or pillow to make sure he was as comfortable as possible.'
He then learnt from the woman that she had been taking care of the man for more than a year. He had been suffering from cancer long before they met.
Cooked for sick man
She and her daughters took turns to clean his flat, wash his clothes, and cooked three meals a day for him. They even bathed and helped clean him when he became incontinent.
'He had to use adult diapers, and when I asked where the money for the expenses came from, the woman simply replied that as he didn't have any money, she supported him,' said Mr Loh.
'I was very moved. They were not related, yet she and her daughters were more than a family to him.'
Mr Loh who has overseen 6,000 weddings as a solemniser for the past 12 years decided that he had to help the dying man fulfil his last wish.
'The groom was in a lot of pain and he could barely speak. But he forced himself to sit up for the ceremony and sign the marriage certificate,' said Mr Loh.
The groom could not afford a single ward, so Mr Loh drew the curtains around the bed for privacy and conducted the solemnisation with the two daughters as witnesses. He then took his camera and took a few pictures of the couple and the family.
'I told them they must have some pictures to keep for memories. It was only during the photo-taking they smiled a little. Other than that, the atmosphere was very sad,' he recalled.
Only five hours after he had solemnised the marriage, Mr Loh received a call from one of the woman's daughters that the groom had died.
'They were so helpless and at a loss as to what to do and asked me for advice,' Mr Loh said.
His wife made arrangements for her husband to be cremated according to his last wishes.
'It was the shortest marriage, but it was true love. They were like real husband and wife long before they went through the formalities,' he said.
Source:
http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/news/st...92214,00.html? 
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