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Old 2nd July 2009, 01:35 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Miscarriage...

Hehe... Don't know where to post to, so was thinking since more of family, shall post here...

Situation:
Guy A and Gal A knew each other, and married at last. After 3-4 years of 'trying', Gal A finally pregnant.

Due to carelessness, and something mishap happened, Gal A miscarriage. Worst, after checking up with doctor, found that she can no longer conceive anymore.

The only solution is adopt for them...

Guy A is the only son of his family, and his parents had no other brothers at all. Meaning he's the only 'heir'.

Question:
1) What will you do if you are Guy A?
2) What will you do if you are Gal A?

PS: This is REAL LIFE experience. Happened to my cousin...

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Last edited by PiDanBeR; 2nd July 2009 at 01:36 PM.
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Old 2nd July 2009, 01:43 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Miscarriage...

1) I wouldn't care about a heir.. all I want is my wife to be happy. If I really really like a child, I will adopt one from the orphanage, and make him my heir... no one can see the blood. so who cares! Traditional thinking is dumb sometimes

2) I might get very emotional towards the miscarriage & blame myself for unable to conceive anymore. But I know I will get over it if Guy A is being very very understanding & caring towards my feelings...

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Old 2nd July 2009, 01:50 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Miscarriage...

Originally Posted by Stanstan View Post
1) I wouldn't care about a heir.. all I want is my wife to be happy. If I really really like a child, I will adopt one from the orphanage, and make him my heir... no one can see the blood. so who cares! Traditional thinking is dumb sometimes

2) I might get very emotional towards the miscarriage & blame myself for unable to conceive anymore. But I know I will get over it if Guy A is being very very understanding & caring towards my feelings...
This is what my cousin currently feeling... More or less depression le... She wouldn't want to talk, eat little, n keep crying... Glad she had a understanding hubby, parent and parent in law that wouldn't mind it... But still...

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Old 2nd July 2009, 01:52 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Miscarriage...

u mean she's greatly under depression & keep self-blame. thinking that she's a jinx , blah blah blah... its normal... esp she lost her child... I'm sure family support will be of great health during these period... be extra understanding to her bah... If u really care for her.. maybe visit her more often!

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Old 2nd July 2009, 01:55 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Miscarriage...

Originally Posted by Stanstan View Post
u mean she's greatly under depression & keep self-blame. thinking that she's a jinx , blah blah blah... its normal... esp she lost her child... I'm sure family support will be of great health during these period... be extra understanding to her bah... If u really care for her.. maybe visit her more often!
too bad she's in batam... n H1N1 going on so strong now too...
So if go 'often' will get 'self quarantine' more often =X

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Old 2nd July 2009, 01:59 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Miscarriage...

lol~ then no choice le... just pray for her , depression's pain is unimaginable i guess

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Old 2nd July 2009, 02:06 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Miscarriage...

Sorry to hear about the sad loss.

Miscarriage is one of the toughest mental stress one can encounter.

Qns: How did the GUY family react to the news? It's rather important. This could greatly affect the relationship between the in-laws.

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Old 2nd July 2009, 02:17 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Miscarriage...

So sorry to hear this.

Adoption is the last thing on the mind of married couple. Easy for ppl here to say adopt, don't stress....but the deep truth is the earnest faithin wanting oyur own child.

I"m not sure of their medical condition, but have they considered IVF, surrogate?

I have friends where fertility check shows men very hard to conceive and both disappointed. Went for a holiday without much hope and just enjoy the process and wallla....got a kid!

Stress to have a kid really kills alot of chance and hope as disappointment rises after each cycle.

If all fails....then adopt or just make do without as my friends haf dogs to fill in.

It's sad, and i also stress as the only heir.

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Old 2nd July 2009, 02:25 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Miscarriage...

better advise her to see a doctor for her depression first thing....later when she ok liao then think how to solve the "childless" problem....

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Old 9th July 2009, 12:49 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Miscarriage...

if they really wan a kid so much, adoption could be a great choice..

anyway, sometimes miracles does happens.. i've heard of cases that couple is childless for years until they adopt their baby, thn suddenly the mom fell pregnant too..

Amulet added 2 Minutes and 55 Seconds later...

Originally Posted by PiDanBeR View Post
This is what my cousin currently feeling... More or less depression le... She wouldn't want to talk, eat little, n keep crying... Glad she had a understanding hubby, parent and parent in law that wouldn't mind it... But still...
she would need to get her depression treated 1st before anything else ba.. u guys found any support group for her?


Last edited by Amulet; 9th July 2009 at 12:52 PM. Reason: Post Bumping
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Old 9th July 2009, 01:25 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Re: Miscarriage...

The mother who lost the child is the one who should be in the greatest pain.

This world is very funny, so many pple dont want bb yet end themselves up with BB. Those desparately after BB, seems to have hell lotsa problem having one.

Yes adopting is alway the last thing on a married couples mind, I dont think I will adopt a child if I cant have any in the future.

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Old 11th July 2009, 02:57 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Re: Miscarriage...

I personally love children too. If I were in here position, I would be very depressed too. Keep praying to the Lord for strength.

Understanding & support from hb is very crucial. I would adopt a child too. There are many abandoned children in Batam due to financial problems. Why not give the orphan a good home?

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Old 11th July 2009, 03:25 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Re: Miscarriage...

Ask them to try harder.

sometimes doctor say the woman can't be pregnant does not really mean 100% cannot.

who knows she will be pregnant again?

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Old 11th July 2009, 03:44 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Re: Miscarriage...

find another wife or surrogate mother lo

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