PARENTS HIRE INVESTIGATOR, HE SPOTS... Smoochy dates at cafe, steamy trysts in car
Former tutor caught picking up 15-year-old girl from school after dropping autistic son at nursery
By Crystal Chan
July 27, 2009
WORRIED about her teen daughter's late nights, this mother hired a private investigator to spy on her.
--ST PHOTO ILLUSTRATION
She felt she had no choice because the girl kept giving evasive answers when questioned and there was no other way to learn the truth.
What the PI uncovered shocked the mother.
The 15-year-old was carrying on a sexual relationship with a married man more than twice her age.
The second shocker: The man was once hired by the mother to tutor her daughter.
The evidence collected later helped put him in jail for having sex with an underaged girl.
Last August, the ex-tutor was sentenced to a year in jail.
He could have been jailed for up to five years and fined up to $10,000 for having sex with a girl under the age of 16.
Parents have been known to hire PIs to watch their kids in such situations for some time now.
But private eyes say that they are seeing more cases involving school-going daughters suspected of having improper relationships. (See report on facing page.)
In the case of the ex-tutor, the mother hired LJ Investigation & Consultancy in 2007 to tail the girl.
--PICTURES: LJ INVESTIGATION & CONSULTANCY
Recounting the case, the PI, who declined to be named, told The New Paper on Sunday that he got his first clue when he managed to check the girl's ez-link card. Surprisingly, the card was used only when the girl went to school.
He said: 'This is unusual for students as they would need the card to go home too.'
The PI's team realised it would be difficult to trail the girl after school.
This was because the school, which is in the northern part of Singapore, had a few side gates through which she could slip out unnoticed.
So they started watching the man whom their client suspected was seeing her daughter - the girl's ex-tutor.
The girl had initiated the romantic relationship with the man, 38, when she was his student.
On the first day of their surveillance, they got a big break.
As part of his routine, the girl's ex-tutor would send his young son to preschool before picking her up from school.
Showing the video surveillance of the ex-tutor to The New Paper on Sunday, the PI said he had been teaching the girl since she was in Primary 5.
But her parents sacked the tutor two years ago when they decided that he and the girl were getting 'too close for comfort', the PI said.
He added that the girl's younger sister and the family's maid told his clients that the teen often went inline skating with the tutor.
The outings began after the girl started secondary school, and in 2007, when she was in Secondary 3, her parents stopped the tuition sessions.
But, besotted with the tutor, the girl continued seeing him on the sly.
The PI said the tutor's daily routine hardly varied. He would take his son to nursery and his in-laws would look after the boy until his wife returned from work.
Once the tutor was free in the afternoons, he would pick the girl up from school.
Mall dates
The surveillance footage showed the tutor driving the girl to a cafe in a suburban mall in the northern part of Singapore.
There, they threw caution to the wind, behaving like a courting couple.
They shared the same cup of iced coffee, and she would feed him cake using a fork.
She also giggled whenever he pecked her on her cheeks and whispered sweet nothings into her ear.
At times, the tutor would put one of his hands over the girl's hands and pull her towards his chest before kissing her.
In between these bouts of open affection, the tutor would have pangs of doubt.
When the girl was busy doing her homework, the tutor would look around to see if anybody was watching them.
The PI said: 'Unfaithful husbands usually behave this way when they are out with another girl.'
The PI's surveillance also revealed that the girl and the tutor would have sex either in his car or at his home, while his wife was out at work.
The pair also went on joy rides on the man's motorcycle. He even bought her a jacket and a helmet.
They also exchanged sappy text messages proclaiming their love for each other.
The girl knew her ex-tutor was married and had a child living with him.
But the man claimed the autistic boy was his cousin. But the boy is his son.
It was a big blow to the girl's parents when the PI showed them the footage.
The PI said: 'The mother was visibly upset when she realised her daughter was no longer a virgin. But she showed a lot of self-control and didn't cry.
'The father was more emotional. He raised his voice and talked about walloping the tutor. I told him his daughter probably felt neglected at home, since both he and his wife were working.'
The girl's father is a senior civil servant while her mother holds a high post in a multi-national corporation.
To make sure that the relationship between the two ended, the parents went to the police and made a report against the tutor.
The girl told the police that her first sexual encounter with the tutor was in September 2007, when the man was still her tutor. They had sex on three more occasions during their five-month affair.
The PI said: 'I told my clients not to scold the girl. Instead, they should show their daughter more attention. She probably fell for her tutor as he showered her with affection and gifts.'
Counsellor Harry Low said that while teacher-student romantic relationships are unethical, people do succumb to physical attraction and emotions.
'Such an affair isn't something that can be terminated just by sacking the tutor,' he said.
'It's not as though the girl's parents can lock her up to stop her from seeing the man. She was probably too involved where her emotions were concerned. So even after the tutor was sacked, it didn't end her feelings for him.
'She's able to move around and with teenagers having handphones nowadays, she could still meet him.'
More want to spy on kids' love lives
PRIVATE investigators say they are getting more cases of parents who want to check on their kids' love lives.
For every five parents who wish to spy on their children, two suspect that their children are having secret boyfriends or girlfriends, say PIs.
Mr Lionel De Souza, an ex-cop who now runs LJ Investigation & Consultancy Services, said: 'Usually, the parents become worried after relatives or neighbours tell them, 'Hey, I saw your daughter doing this with a boy.'
'If the girl brings the boy home to meet her parents, the older folks feel comfortable with the relationship.
'But if she keeps quiet about the relationship and the parents come to hear about it from others, they become worried that the men could be just using the girls for sex.'
Mr De Souza said that typically it's when both parents are working that kids are more prone to love and attention given by outsiders.
He said: 'Financially, these families are comfortable. Some are even living in condos.'
Previously, most parents were only interested in whether their children were mixing with bad company either online or in the real world.
These days, parents are also keen to probe if there are telltale signs that the young ones are having pre-marital sex.
Mr S M Jegan, who runs Kokusai Security, said he gets one or two calls from parents a month, asking him to spy on their children.
He said: 'Usually, parents are afraid their children mix with bad company although once in a while, I get clients who suspect their children of having sexual affairs.'
Mr P Kalastree, who runs Mainguard Security Services, also investigates such cases. He said some parents also hire him to check out the background of those dating their children.
'I had a case of a 21-year-old boy who wanted to marry a woman who was twice his age. His parents disapproved because of the age gap and they wanted to be sure the lady was of good character and if the boy was serious.'
How can you tell if your children may be up to no good? Mr De Souza said: 'The signs include coming home late from school and a sudden increase in 'group study' sessions without any visible improvement in grades.'
Talk to kids first, not PIs
COUNSELLORS who spoke to The New Paper on Sunday said that engaging private investigators to spy on their children could strain parent-child relations.
Ms Sheena Jebal, a psychologist from Nulife Care & Counselling, said that parents who hire PIs to follow their children are usually busy with work and financially well-off.
'These parents also know that because they aren't close to their children, they have no control over the situation.
'They ought to have considered counselling first. You can't keep getting PIs to 'wipe out' the other person.'
Mr Harry Low, a senior counsellor from the National University of Singapore's Counselling Centre, said that hiring PIs only injects mistrust into parent-children ties.
While Mr Low agreed that a PI's surveillance would help in finding evidence of wrongdoing as in the private tutor's case, it does not solve the main problem.
He said: 'Parents miss the point when they go to PIs.
'The main issue is that their children need love and attention and they should address this.
'Otherwise, these girls would just meet other men and the problem will repeat itself.'
Source:
http://tnp.sg/news/story/0,4136,208823,00.html? 
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