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Old 1st December 2007, 12:53 AM   #1 (permalink)
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r/s problem

now, i find it extremely hard to have a conversation with him. he always gets angry! he did many things that hurt me, i shall list down. i really hope you will tell me what to do.

1. he's not forgiving. once we went for a sgc outing and i didnt really go close to him cause i'm afraid that they will disturb him and me, which i cannot stand it. he was angry that i left him alone. So i kept apologizing!! I even throw my pride away and apologize in public. you can view the thread still(comments on dota outing). but yet he didn't budge. so i came to find him at his house downstairs and we're back to normal.

2.you know i love cosplaying. he doesn't like me cosplaying. once he accompanied me to see the dentist then i started chatting about cosplay and he suddenly KEPT QUIET. So obviously something was wrong. We was holding hands actually, then he pushed my hand. after that we board the mrt, he listened to his mp3 and i was still wondering why he was mad(i dunno that he doesn't like me cosplaying at that time). When we reached Eunos, he just alight without saying bye. i hesitated then i decided to follow him. I followed him all the way until he took bus 60 back home. he left me behind just like that. my tears are flowing flowing like some waterfall then i took a bus back home.

3. he doesn't think about my feelings. he just say what he wants. and when i said what i want, he got angry. and when i said sorry, he wont forgive!

.........................................

ok i wanna stop already. actually, i have more bad memories then good. i can't remember those good times except some like going to the beach. it was really fun. im tired, i was the one giving him care and love. he rather be the one recieving love than to put in more effort in the r/s. I'm always the one who salvaged the relationship. he asked for break up 3 times! But the third time i let him go and he said he wants me back.

i dunno. i really dunno. i liked him for 2 years. instead of sharing my burden, he ADDS to my burden. i'm really really tired. he bears to call me a bitch. i dun think he dont really loves me at all. my feelings are also fading.. i'm not sure to control or not.

please tell me what to do. sorry to have you read my long and boring story.

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Old 1st December 2007, 01:02 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: r/s problem

gal, a r/s need two hands to clap de wor.. Maybe u can tell him hw u feel lor.. And ask him to understand that its ur favourite to cosplay. Have more communication with him bah. Try to work things out lor. Gaving in to each other lor. Not u always gaving in lor. Cheer up gal!! =)

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Old 1st December 2007, 01:07 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: r/s problem

you r right but im really really really tired. im sick of all these. he's so immature. I already told him, HE STILL DIDNT change!!

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Old 1st December 2007, 01:33 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: r/s problem

since u already said your feelings are fading.. then let the r/s go lor.. no point holding on to it lorx..

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Old 1st December 2007, 01:49 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: r/s problem

awws~
i've been thru a r/s some sort like urs too..
well, try to talk to him about how you feel.. if he still doesn't change,
it's time to let go. ask yourself whether if it's worth holding onto this r/s when you're getting so tired & all. you deserve someone better.. *hugs*

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Old 1st December 2007, 02:54 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: r/s problem

My very own boyfriend was like that in the beginning of the relationship.
He was like your boyfriend, never bothered, and is never sensitive to people around him.
The break thingy also lidat, when u wan brk, he dun wan,
Keeps too much things to himselves, thats why when there are things he doesnt like,
he dun wanna say.
Calling each other nasty names and all is fine if IT IS KIDDING, me and my bf always F LA NB LA, but end up laughin. Did he mean it seriously when he calls you a bitch?
Love, however, itself, is not easily angered.

1. Cant blame him on that outing bahs, perhaps he think that it is not a big deal since ppl alrd know u have a bf, and if you leave him alone, obviously he will be unhappy lahs, he might be feeling neglected..

but the 2. one really -,-
have you ever had a talk with him?
instead of sharing my burden, he ADDS to my burden
love, should feel no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, and though weary, it is not tired.



Have a serious nice talk with him, tell him how you feel, ask him if he still loves you,
and remind him there is no point in carrying on a relationship that brings both parties hurt,
and lots of trouble. Why carry on if you feel so miserable. Love happily =)

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Old 1st December 2007, 10:34 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: r/s problem

he did call me a bitch. i was chatting with another guy on the chatroom about money. that guy said 17 dollars was nothing to him then i said, you dowan then give me lor. so my bf was there, then he msned me said that, you want money you go to him lor, bitch. <- i will ALWAYS remember what he said it to me.

because my father is bankrupt, i have family problems. my mother and fatehr are on the verge of getting a divource. and i'm working everyday to support my family needs. i can;t even spend my own pay. even my auntie has to support my family!!!!!! pathetic. but it is okay, i'm used to it.

i asked before if he still loves me, and said yes. then i even ask him why he did this to me. he didnt reply. we talked about it before, he promise to change. so i gave him another chance but did he even change? i felt he gotten worse. he srsly took me for granted.

i'm thinking of letting go, but i'm scared i will regret.

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Last edited by ★Yuuko☆; 1st December 2007 at 10:35 AM.
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Old 1st December 2007, 12:20 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: r/s problem

Follow your heart girl. I understand how you feel.
Sometime i really think that he is taking granted on you.
Maybe he still not so mature in his thinking yet, so he is like that.
Maybe when time goes by, he will change a little more?
I know it's simply so hurt when he called you name that can make you cry.
Maybe because both of you were mad at the max, then he just said something bad.
Most of the time, when people are quarreling they always never think before they talk.
This is what i can said, i not sure it can help you.
But jiayou germ germ ^^

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Old 1st December 2007, 06:25 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: r/s problem

gal. you deserve someone better. let him go ba. cheer up! =)

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Old 1st December 2007, 09:27 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: r/s problem

Yuuko, from your comments, it seems to me that you have decided to end the r/s.
But you just need someone to "back your decision".
It does seems that your r/s is going nowhere. We are now hearing your side of the story and it seems that it is his fault and he dun deserve you.
Well, as long as you believe that you have done your best in trying to salavge the r/s when you can, and your feeling are fading, why should you regret your decision?
He sounds like a jerk. The worst thing you can ever have is just another jerk as your next boyfriend. Nothing lost.

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Old 1st December 2007, 11:05 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Re: r/s problem

i can't bear to. we've been together for 11 months. of course there are happy times. i dun expect him to be perfect but at least show some concern and care for me..

you are right. i want you girls to stop me actually. i'm really tired. i used to love him alot! he meant the world to me. i wont to speak to other guys at all unless they speak to me - i'm honest. but now i even dare to start chat with guys on msn and even gave my number to stranger who asked for it. i really donno what should i do. i really really miss those good old times, thats why i'm holding back.

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Last edited by ★Yuuko☆; 1st December 2007 at 11:06 PM.
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Old 2nd December 2007, 12:08 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Re: r/s problem

Originally Posted by ★Yuuko☆ View Post
i can't bear to. we've been together for 11 months. of course there are happy times. i dun expect him to be perfect but at least show some concern and care for me..

you are right. i want you girls to stop me actually. i'm really tired. i used to love him alot! he meant the world to me. i wont to speak to other guys at all unless they speak to me - i'm honest. but now i even dare to start chat with guys on msn and even gave my number to stranger who asked for it. i really donno what should i do. i really really miss those good old times, thats why i'm holding back.

Gal, follow ur heart bah.. When its time to let go, u should let go le.

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Old 2nd December 2007, 12:12 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Re: r/s problem

i dunno what my heart wants me to do..

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Old 2nd December 2007, 10:39 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Re: r/s problem

But to me, i think your feeling for him had fade away a little or should i said quit a lots already.
You still love him but not as much as you are at the first place.
I think because, he said too much of break up, so end up it hurt the r/s.
There are many other more good guy outside too.
If he really love you, he won't so easy said out the break up word one.
cheer up!

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Old 2nd December 2007, 05:47 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Re: r/s problem

Same thing happened to me and my bf, it was very sweet at the begining then he starts to lose interest in me and he rather play his games than going out with me... But after we break up for about half a year, he seems to have changed because he starts to work and he become a lot more mature and understanding than before.

So from what i see, i can see that your bf is just not mature enough right now. Maybe you two should take a break and not see each other for a week or even a month. Then decide rather you should hold onto the relationship or not.


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Old 2nd December 2007, 11:58 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Re: r/s problem

all i hope now is he changes.. i dowan to break with him..

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Old 4th December 2007, 10:07 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Re: r/s problem

He wants you to change for him but you should be who you are. Otherwise why did he choose to be with you in the first place. I don't think we can stop it for you, but a matter of how long more can you tolerate the lack of understanding and disrespect.

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Old 4th December 2007, 10:21 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Re: r/s problem

Originally Posted by ★Yuuko☆ View Post
now, i find it extremely hard to have a conversation with him. he always gets angry! he did many things that hurt me, i shall list down. i really hope you will tell me what to do.

1. he's not forgiving. once we went for a sgc outing and i didnt really go close to him cause i'm afraid that they will disturb him and me, which i cannot stand it. he was angry that i left him alone. So i kept apologizing!! I even throw my pride away and apologize in public. you can view the thread still(comments on dota outing). but yet he didn't budge. so i came to find him at his house downstairs and we're back to normal.

2.you know i love cosplaying. he doesn't like me cosplaying. once he accompanied me to see the dentist then i started chatting about cosplay and he suddenly KEPT QUIET. So obviously something was wrong. We was holding hands actually, then he pushed my hand. after that we board the mrt, he listened to his mp3 and i was still wondering why he was mad(i dunno that he doesn't like me cosplaying at that time). When we reached Eunos, he just alight without saying bye. i hesitated then i decided to follow him. I followed him all the way until he took bus 60 back home. he left me behind just like that. my tears are flowing flowing like some waterfall then i took a bus back home.

3. he doesn't think about my feelings. he just say what he wants. and when i said what i want, he got angry. and when i said sorry, he wont forgive!

.........................................

ok i wanna stop already. actually, i have more bad memories then good. i can't remember those good times except some like going to the beach. it was really fun. im tired, i was the one giving him care and love. he rather be the one recieving love than to put in more effort in the r/s. I'm always the one who salvaged the relationship. he asked for break up 3 times! But the third time i let him go and he said he wants me back.

i dunno. i really dunno. i liked him for 2 years. instead of sharing my burden, he ADDS to my burden. i'm really really tired. he bears to call me a bitch. i dun think he dont really loves me at all. my feelings are also fading.. i'm not sure to control or not.

please tell me what to do. sorry to have you read my long and boring story.
Love = Accepting
Love = Not Hurting Loves one

Seriously.. girl.its time to move on.. its not worth for a guy like this . Though i know easier say than done. But don't let him continue to hurt you!!!
Confront him. Stating clearly.LAST chance means LAST chance.
Move on........ show him you are better off without him

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Old 17th December 2007, 03:46 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Re: r/s problem

he does nt uds u.
u hab yr problems yet he does not tries to help..
instead addin on to it..
however 11 mths is a very long time.
maybe u could write him a letter.
tellin him u r tired..
communicate wif him.
if reali canot then let go.
at least u r nt loving him till u can die
=D
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Old 17th December 2007, 09:58 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Re: r/s problem

As what the other ladies have already mentioned.. I guess it's best that you let go... What's the point of throwing your pride aside just for this guy who doesn't care a crap about you? Since it's already adding to your burdens, then why not lighten it? 11 months is a short period of time... If it's like more than 3-4 years then it's even harder to let go. I'm sure you wouldn't want to have to stand his nonsense for that long do you? Find somebody who shares the same interests with you (cosplaying etc...) and truly cherishes you and shows you respect ... ^^

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