i know it's just plain stupid to think that my life became a drama, which is so unreal. What happened in most of the dramas, happened to me. What the?! damnit. Why in the world am i thinking this way? ._.
Feeling pretty down these few days and i don't even know why. Malaise? Uneasiness? Take your pick. i just don't know. Going for a holiday tomorrow, but.. nope! i ain't excited at all. i think too much when i stay at home. don't feel like going out too. Ahh! What the hell. What's gotten into me?
Since my friend migrated, i am unable to thinking properly. Mood swings problem got even worsed. Something is going to happen. i am having a hunch. Whatsmore... it will be something bad. Hm... a girl's intuition eh? lol. If something bad really happens...
i will follow my heart when i asked my mum to buy 4D numbers the next time ;DD
Jaa mata.
__________________ How can he think Dragon Ball Z is better than Scooby-Doo? This generation has no appreciation for the classics!- Stefan
Last edited by death seraph; 29-11-2008 at 10:37 PM.
dear diary, petrine had cramps in her dream again! im feeling sore all over my calves now how am i going to meet my pt tmrz!!
i dont want him to mock me again AHA i want to show him that im damn good!! good mobility and movement and bwahhhhh... and shit. i ate crap ytd again.. arh forget it.
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I'm tired!! Bought my very own PSP slim pink last sat. ++ a few other add ons to the psp. Heart now has a hole in it cause everything cost a lot. Sucks man. But the psp looks chio~ Pretty in pink!
-blackmoonie
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i dunno how to prove my sincerity tt i am wiling to chage the way she like... i juz hope for another chance from her...
life is so different without her...
dear diary.. i dunno whether i should go zouk at night... laoniang is damn fan now rofl
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Yesterday I :
-helped out as a runner/ timer/ lifeguard for the BBSC Family Mass Swim
-had physics tuition
-forgot every single thing about physics
-got owned by my physics tutor
-knew from my tutor that the big Os are approx. coming in 10mths and 2 weeks time
-forgot to eat my pills
-became very sickly and very tired
-slept damn early.
Today I:
-went shopping with my Mum
-had the medicine, still very tired and worn out
-bought new clothes
-bought baking stuff to bake brownies
-went to Best Denki
-wish for a Macbook
-got scolded by my mum just now for making a mess out of my room.
I can't say my life sucks but my life isn't good either.
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I'm 40% nerd, 20% swimmer, 29% blogging addict, 10% wild & 1% trying to be a hero.
Things have been really up and down like a roller-coaster ride for me, be it online or offline, and I hope that the currents will soon appease. I know that life is not fair, as it never is, but I just hope that I can be as fair to all, and to have all the weird issues settled once and for all. I cannot please anybody, let alone everybody, and it is probably stupid and selfish to think that one person can make a difference. I wish I can, but I am not granted the ability, and definitely not with the current situation, when things are just not working fine for me. I'm glad that some of my friends are by my side, encouraging me and telling me not to give up, but somehow I still feel that there is lacking of something. Perhaps it's the lack of other people understanding what I say. I just wish I'm not a freak so that people can just have the same level of understanding as me, but again, life doesn't work this way.
Suffering from a weird level of self-esteem issue, I guess I'll explode one day, and I'll have to say goodbye to all, people from online communities I have known, 'cos I don't think it is ever fair if I were to sink further into this whirlpool, and I might drag people into this complicated state of thinking. This sounds really stupid right now, 'cos I am somewhat typing this for all to see, yet, I have this feeling nobody will read this. LOL. This complexity of my mind is driving me bonkers, I swear. I laugh, I cry, I smile, I frown. Somehow it just feels like all are just facades facades facades. I can't help worrying, perhaps for the sake of worrying. I don't even clearly know what exactly am I worrying about. My plans, my results, or the whole big mess in SgClub that is left for just the few of us to clear up. Perhaps this sounds like stupid right now, to find somebody like me, who is suppose to be focusing on how to study well, work hard, trash those prcs in school 'cos they just keep winning me again and again, and get my honors degree asap, and start working, to end my life soon, to be spending my time and energy on something that can be seen, but cannot be felt, something so virtual only. Sometimes I wonder have I made a correct decision in becoming who and what I am today, in all the online communities I am in.
Regrets are only decisions made in the past, and I cannot do anything about it anymore. Regret will only make my future decisions worse, causing more regrets. Bless me with the courage to move on forward, to survive all these ordeals, and to prevail in the end. And hope I will as soon as possible, find the ability to only be contented with what I have, and never to complain about anything anymore again.
Why am I typing this, I wonder. Oh wells.
The always busy,
Hooolahoop
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Dear dairy,
Christmas is just 22 days away. Everyday stoning at home and listening to christmas music for nostalgic purposes. Look forward to celebrating her birthday with her this Saturday at Ben and Jerry's Chunkfest and Esplanade Rooftop.
Signing off
Zeke
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Dear diary,
why do i still miss him after we broke up?
i thought i could leave without him.
even up till now i still look forward to him to talk to me.
how should i solve my problem?
your owner,
jas
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yeah im right. my holiday sucks to the core. Oh well, i couldn't care less about it. im pissed at my parents... well, parent to be exact. my bro had this stupid attitude problem. gaah. im freaking pissed out by every little single thing. going home soon. wish me luck, bye.
hui
__________________ How can he think Dragon Ball Z is better than Scooby-Doo? This generation has no appreciation for the classics!- Stefan
My condition worsened. I suffer from headaches on and off but I still force myself to continue walking on. Doctor says it is cause partly by the medicine, so I must have my own will to fight. I won't lose to this PCOS disease. (:
On another hand, I must say my maths is improving...maybe my headache give me the power? Heh.
Oh oh. I love the SGC Radio.
Till then~
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I'm 40% nerd, 20% swimmer, 29% blogging addict, 10% wild & 1% trying to be a hero.
right, im still on my holiday. and i guess everything's just getting better My aunt's baby boy will be one month old this sunday! hahs. i've yet to see this new-born cousin of mine. oh well, i will have the chance to pinch his cheeks sooner or later.
Many things happened this year. And somehow, i'm having this no!-i-don't-wanna-let-go feeling. let go of what? you may ask. THAT, is where the problem lies. Sigh.
later then
__________________ How can he think Dragon Ball Z is better than Scooby-Doo? This generation has no appreciation for the classics!- Stefan
I had lots of fun tomorrow and I wonder what will happen tomorrow. Falling in love on impulse is stupid. It's more of love at first sight kinda thing. Yes, I am glad it's not me.
Speaking of cash, it's been rather hard up. I survived on $5 for an entire week. So it was maggie mee and more maggie mee. On the second day, red was dropping from my head. There's goes my red hair, dropping due to MSG. -_- Oh money.
Had soccer in the morning, and I wished it could have been... more. It wasn't what I anticipated, it wasn't what I wanted, it was just not satisfying enough. It sucks when you're unable to play at your best, and what's worse, I gave up playing towards the end of the session. It was just too crappy; I couldn't produce anything.
Maybe I should just chuck away my self-delusional thoughts and be "happy" with the standards we're playing? I don't know man.
071208
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Can't wait to be there with his mum at the parade. Haha.
My aunt's baby boy will be one month old this sunday! hahs. i've yet to see this new-born cousin of mine. oh well, i will have the chance to pinch his cheeks sooner or later.
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