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Old 1st December 2009, 11:00 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Stuck in a love rectangle

Hello, this is my first post after a very long time..

I was asked out by 4 guys in my secondary school year. I rejected them all because i had a crush on my best friend, R.

My other best friend, N, has a crush on R too, and she's been very expressive about it. She has told him already, and i've not, after 4 years of being secretly in love with him.

N told me R admitted that he liked her, but has since been avoiding her.

I constantly imagine what it'd be like if me and R were together.

Because of my infatuation over R, i've rejected 4 guys already, and now, another one has told me he likes me, but i pretended to not hear it and said "huh?" then he replied "nevermind.." until now, he's constantly talking to me on msn and coming over to my place.

I'm really worried that if this goes on, i might not be able to get a boyfriend, because i seem so aloof to guys who like me. Please, what should i do? Should i tell R that i've been having a crush on him for 4 years, and risk the friendship between R and N?

I can't seem to get rid of my feelings towards him.. i've tried. No one knows that i have a crush on R. Another best friend, S, told me to just go out with that guy who likes me, but he's too mouse looking, and many people call him a nerd. I know i shouldn't go for looks, but he's a bit shorter than me...

Sorry for the long post, i've not come to a forum for a long time. I hope someone understands what i'm trying to say. Please help.

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Old 1st December 2009, 11:05 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Stuck in a love rectangle

Depends if you cherish friendship with your friend more N or relationshop with your crush R more.

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Old 1st December 2009, 11:14 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Stuck in a love rectangle

Love conquers all
Go for it! confess to him or it might be too late
ke ke ke i know it sounds cliche but it's the truthhhh]


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Old 2nd December 2009, 12:02 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Stuck in a love rectangle

If R likes N, why he avoid her? They are not together yet, everyone gets a fair chance.

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Old 2nd December 2009, 12:09 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Stuck in a love rectangle

Ask R ba. maybe he like you more :x
somemore, must see whtr N treasures friendship too ma.

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Old 2nd December 2009, 04:13 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Stuck in a love rectangle

you know what you should do?

study.

cannot make up your mind? focus on studies.

let things go naturally, and if those boys really have feelings for you, waiting a few years for you to decide is nothing.

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Old 2nd December 2009, 09:52 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Stuck in a love rectangle

Originally Posted by GatsbyFire View Post
you know what you should do?

study.

cannot make up your mind? focus on studies.

let things go naturally, and if those boys really have feelings for you, waiting a few years for you to decide is nothing.
I truly agree with GatsbyFire

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Old 2nd December 2009, 03:45 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Stuck in a love rectangle

I will say you go tell R that u like him. Because if in the end, he doesn't have any love feelings for you, you know you had confessed.
Then try accepting other guys.

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Old 2nd December 2009, 07:32 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Stuck in a love rectangle

Originally Posted by j09m View Post
I truly agree with GatsbyFire
My exams are just over, lol.. I'm waiting to get into uni now >.<

I've not seen him for a real long time because i'm studying overseas, and he's my best friend, so i'm quite excited to meet him when i'm back!

Thing is, he's my best friend as well. We've known each other longer than we know N, because she joined us later.

Anyway, thanks for the recommendations guys!

I've spoken to my friend (not related to the 2) about this and i think i have a rough idea of what i'm going to do

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Old 4th December 2009, 05:53 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Stuck in a love rectangle

Hi,
I think you should let go of your crush on R and find another guy who also likes you. It may take years before R notices you so I suggest go out with guys who like you. However, you should really accept a guy you really like. Don't force yourself just because you might no longer have a boyfriend. You still have a lot of years ahead of you and you will still meet many guys.

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Old 4th December 2009, 06:04 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Re: Stuck in a love rectangle

What is it that you love so much about R?? You know, you've done the right thing rejecting guys you don't like....it doesn't mean that if a guy asks u out or confess that he likes u...u gotta like him back...

If you really cannot get over R, then find the strength to admit to him your feelings and what you hope to receive in return....talk to your best friend about having feelings for R as well...and let her know that you still wan to be friends...

You know best friends stick by each other through thick and thin...if she refuse to speak to you bcoz of this, well then...u'll know wat kinda person she is.

R might or might not like u back...but either way, at least confessing makes it better...10 years down the road...at least u don't haf to wonder...wat if ? wat if? u know wat i mean right? good luck ya...study hard first....love takes a back seat...especially if u're still young n gona meet lotsa of other cute guys along the way...

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Old 5th December 2009, 01:01 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Re: Stuck in a love rectangle

Hello, thanks for all your suggestions. I am going to try to move on, as what some of you have said. As for what makes me like him so much, i'm not sure myself. It must be the times we spent together. We were always with each other during sec sch, and many thought we were a couple, but we always denied and laughed about it amongst ourselves. We also have many things in common, like we will always happen to have the same thoughts and sometimes say the same thing at the same time. It might sound incredulous to some, but this is true. We get a shock when we utter the same things or think the same thing, but we always laugh over it.

I've known him for almost half a decade now, so it could also be time that makes feelings grow fonder. But he's so far away now, and he's forever uncontactable because of financial problems..

Anyhow, my trip back to sg this time will decide whether we're going to be tgt or not. I just hope things turn out to be pleasant between the 3 of us...

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Old 20th December 2009, 09:51 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Re: Stuck in a love rectangle

how old are you?
maybe u can concentrate in your studies first
just choose the one you LOVE

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Old 21st December 2009, 12:19 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Re: Stuck in a love rectangle

New update guys!

We met each other overseas during our holiday (won't say where in case some one i know reads this). We spent almost the whole day together. I thought we were meeting to buy presents for our friends back in sg, but we ended up watching a movie and eating dinner at some restaurant, then we went to play arcade. The whacking thing with the hammer. lol. It was really fun but i had to go back to my hotel at midnight, so we didn't buy presents in the end.

I uploaded the pictures we took that day on facebook, and (can't believe i'm saying this) he put a pic of the 2 of us as his profile pic!

Could it mean that he has feelings for me??

I'm taking a real big risk by revealing so much...

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Old 22nd December 2009, 02:02 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Re: Stuck in a love rectangle

You might have a chance! If N really cares about you as a friend, I guess she wouldn't mind if you told R how you feel..

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Old 22nd December 2009, 04:28 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Re: Stuck in a love rectangle

..wtf......how can u judge a guy by its cover so wht ppl look like nerd....ARE THEY NERD?...

i agree with tissuebox..go or it..

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Old 23rd December 2009, 11:21 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Re: Stuck in a love rectangle

yepyep but u might check his previous profile pic whether he put pics with other girls in it before.

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Old 24th December 2009, 04:18 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Re: Stuck in a love rectangle

Originally Posted by mizuki_chin View Post
..wtf......how can u judge a guy by its cover so wht ppl look like nerd....ARE THEY NERD?...

i agree with tissuebox..go or it..
Read that post again. I'm not implying that he IS a nerd, i just say many of my friends THINK he looks like one.

Weiwei2 added 2 Minutes and 42 Seconds later...

Originally Posted by FlattenedCake View Post
yepyep but u might check his previous profile pic whether he put pics with other girls in it before.
No. I've been friends with him for half a decade. I know his character. He's a shy guy and always diverts his eyes when my eyes meet his. I always get confused by that. Does it mean he

1) Is super shy and doesn't like to look at people's eyes when talking
2) Has feelings for me
3) Doesn't like me


Last edited by Weiwei2; 24th December 2009 at 04:21 PM. Reason: Post Bumping
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