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Old 22nd July 2010, 04:34 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Unfair treatment: What do you think about parents who favor one child over another?

Unfair treatment in a family

What do you think about parents who favor one child from another?
Do you find it is perfectly OK?

I am asking this question because I have this uncle who have 2 sons. One is 16 years old and the other is around 4 years old.
It is rather obvious he dotes on the younger one more because he scolds the older one often (the older one is obedient) ,if the younger child tried to "stop" his dad from scolding the older child,the dad will stop.
My uncle seem to pay more attention to the younger child compared to the older child.

I am wondering,have you ever been through unfair treatment in a family? OR you had always been treated fairly? Do you find it is OK for a family with UNFAIR TREATMENT?

For myself,I am sure my parents dotes on both my brothers and me. However,since I am the only daughter at home,I might get abit more attention than what suppose to be,I guess =)

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Old 22nd July 2010, 04:46 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Unfair treatment: What do you think about parents who favor one child over another?

To a parent, all his/her children are the same. He/She loves each of them in their own ways.

Your uncle's case is simple.

As a 4 yrs old, the child knows nothing and cant think in a mature way for himself. As for the other son, he is 16 yrs old and knows how to tell the differences between Right & Wrong.

If both the 4 yrs old and 16 yrs old do a wrong thing like stealing, who will get punished more? The younger one or the older one? Its obvious it will be the older one as he at his age should know better and acted more maturely for his age. So in this case, is the father showing favourism in belting different level of punishment?

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Old 22nd July 2010, 04:48 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Unfair treatment: What do you think about parents who favor one child over another?

makes no difference to me.

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Old 22nd July 2010, 09:06 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Unfair treatment: What do you think about parents who favor one child over another?

Do you find it is OK for a family with UNFAIR TREATMENT?
I find it okay really, most kids who still have at least both their parents are quite selfish and dislike sharing their attention with their siblings, but once one of their parents are gone it really does affect a mature child like myself (biased XD). If you have one parent left you really do end up being more sharing with your sibling, it isnt about you anymore like it could have been its about getting on with life.

Personally for my family my brother is still favored even if he is the total failure. Everyone still loves him and pay's more attention to him. Since my parents divorce, me and my bro live with my mom, and we started cooling down on our need for attention, but of course my brother is still more favored so my mom notices him completely and I learnt to share, as long as I have food/a roof over my head and education Iam fine with it really.

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Old 22nd July 2010, 09:22 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Unfair treatment: What do you think about parents who favor one child over another?

Originally Posted by x3Fantasy3x View Post
Do you find it is OK for a family with UNFAIR TREATMENT?
I find it okay really, most kids who still have at least both their parents are quite selfish and dislike sharing their attention with their siblings, but once one of their parents are gone it really does affect a mature child like myself (biased XD). If you have one parent left you really do end up being more sharing with your sibling, it isnt about you anymore like it could have been its about getting on with life.

Personally for my family my brother is still favored even if he is the total failure. Everyone still loves him and pay's more attention to him. Since my parents divorce, me and my bro live with my mom, and we started cooling down on our need for attention, but of course my brother is still more favored so my mom notices him completely and I learnt to share, as long as I have food/a roof over my head and education Iam fine with it really.
Is your bro younger than you?

If you are the single parent, which sons will you focus your concentate on?
1) The Matured and doing well one?
or
2) The not doing well one?

I would chose no:2.

Reasons, the more matured and doing better one, in future can survive better. The doing not so well one, will need alot of attention and encouragment in order to lead him back to the right path. It will be him that as a parent, will be more worried for.

Does my explanation make sense?

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Last edited by Peuan Sanit; 22nd July 2010 at 09:23 PM.
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Old 22nd July 2010, 10:20 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Unfair treatment: What do you think about parents who favor one child over another?

He is 22, yes I know he needs the attentions thats why I am freely sharing with him, I really just gave up attention since I dont need it, I know my parents love me a bit and thats all I need, I love my brother too and so I really hope he wakes up with the attention he is getting. Haha it does make sense but I already knew it XDD. But the problem is he is really taking all the attention for granted I hope he wakes up and starts to mature.

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Old 23rd July 2010, 09:50 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Unfair treatment: What do you think about parents who favor one child over another?

I dun have this situation as i am the only child but my frd (female) she dislikes her family, cos her parents favours her younger bro over her......(thats wat she think, I dunno the real situation of hers btw)....

but I always envy pple who have siblings etc...to share toys/laughter etc.....I think some quarrels/fights are inavoidable de....the thing is the bond (kinship) must be there .....

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Old 23rd July 2010, 09:55 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Unfair treatment: What do you think about parents who favor one child over another?

just get used to it, coz thats how life is....
nothing is fair in this world and there will be NO true justice!

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Old 23rd July 2010, 12:36 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Unfair treatment: What do you think about parents who favor one child over another?

Originally Posted by x3Fantasy3x View Post
He is 22, yes I know he needs the attentions thats why I am freely sharing with him, I really just gave up attention since I dont need it, I know my parents love me a bit and thats all I need, I love my brother too and so I really hope he wakes up with the attention he is getting. Haha it does make sense but I already knew it XDD. But the problem is he is really taking all the attention for granted I hope he wakes up and starts to mature.
He will eventually wakes up one day.

Originally Posted by Pinkgrapes2007 View Post
I dun have this situation as i am the only child but my frd (female) she dislikes her family, cos her parents favours her younger bro over her......(thats wat she think, I dunno the real situation of hers btw)....

but I always envy pple who have siblings etc...to share toys/laughter etc.....I think some quarrels/fights are inavoidable de....the thing is the bond (kinship) must be there .....
When the parents are gone, your closest kin is your siblings.

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Old 23rd July 2010, 01:42 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Unfair treatment: What do you think about parents who favor one child over another?

Originally Posted by Peuan Sanit View Post
He will eventually wakes up one day.



When the parents are gone, your closest kin is your siblings.
true true, tat's one of the reason why i'm sad that i dun have any siblings....so envy pple who have.....

so lonely from birth until now...sad....

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Old 23rd July 2010, 02:29 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Re: Unfair treatment: What do you think about parents who favor one child over another?

Yeah I hope he will eventually wake up cause currently he is married and has a child to support which he cant do, I hope he wakes up soon like I said the last time "Your single days are over" XDD

To Pinkgrapes2007 aww dont be jealous, you really have no clue how much easier it is to be a single child, no need to fight all the time, dont have to get hit all the time, dont have to hide in your room all day, dont have to wash Clean AND COOK for your sibiling even if they are old enough, dont have to make sure your sibiling is safe, dont have to make sure your sibiling isnt hurt or you get blamed, dont have to worry that your sibiling gets all the attention and not you. Haha your not missing much XD

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Old 23rd July 2010, 02:32 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Re: Unfair treatment: What do you think about parents who favor one child over another?

Originally Posted by x3Fantasy3x View Post
Yeah I hope he will eventually wake up cause currently he is married and has a child to support which he cant do, I hope he wakes up soon like I said the last time "Your single days are over" XDD

To Pinkgrapes2007 aww dont be jealous, you really have no clue how much easier it is to be a single child, no need to fight all the time, dont have to get hit all the time, dont have to hide in your room all day, dont have to wash Clean AND COOK for your sibiling even if they are old enough, dont have to make sure your sibiling is safe, dont have to make sure your sibiling isnt hurt or you get blamed, dont have to worry that your sibiling gets all the attention and not you. Haha your not missing much XD
haha thks...I guess there is always pros and cons to everything.....& nothing is perfect de

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Old 23rd July 2010, 07:53 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Re: Unfair treatment: What do you think about parents who favor one child over another?

well i'll definetly love my daughter more then my son lol but i'm planning on 3 daughters =P

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Old 23rd July 2010, 07:56 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Re: Unfair treatment: What do you think about parents who favor one child over another?

i'm used to it. i'm not the favourite child when my younger sister was around. still not a favourite child when she passed away. my brother became the replacement. sigh, what to do anyws.

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Old 23rd July 2010, 08:10 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Re: Unfair treatment: What do you think about parents who favor one child over another?

IMO : Parents love their children equally.

Take for example :
A woman has 2 daughters whose names are Jane ( the older one ) and Apple ( the younger one ).
It may seem that she favours Apple more than Jane but it's actually not like that.

For instance, one day the woman decided to go shopping. She wanted to bring both her daughters along. So, she she asked Jane first. Jane said " don't want lah, go out waste money ". Then, the woman went to ask Apple. Apple said " OK MUMMY ! LET'S GO ! ".

Hence, if you're in the woman's shoes, who do you rather go out with ? And since the older daughter didn't want to go too, I am sure you'd be going out with Apple only.

Spending more time with the other child, doesn't mean the parent doesn't love you as much.

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Old 25th July 2010, 06:07 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Re: Unfair treatment: What do you think about parents who favor one child over another?

Been used to it for being treated unfairly in the family since my brother was born.


Reason being :
My parents always have the mindset of favouring Males to females since I was young.

In chinese means "Zhong Nan Qing Nv .."

So no matter what I do or how gd I am, it will not changed this reality fact.


Whenever I had quarrels over with my sibling, he would always thought that I was jealous with him as he knows that my mom tend to favour & dote on him since he was young & he was a guy. No doubt my mum dotes on him a lot since young & provide him with everything that he wanted, but I have never had the mentality of getting jealous with my brother at all. Most of the time, even when he was in the wrong, my mum will also side with him.

Infact, I felt that my mom has spoilt him since young & tend to give in to him on every requests that he wanted. This wld tend to make him more reliant and more demanding on my mum even though he's in his mid 20s now.

Anyway, though my mum favours & provides everything that my brother wanted, I have nver felt jealous or envy of him at all even till now. Nothing could be change or done for being jealous. I deem it pointless for this as well.


Infact, this has made me become independent since young & training myself to become more stronger in overcoming my obstacles & mentality in life.

Wings added 8 Minutes and 36 Seconds later...

Originally Posted by x3Fantasy3x View Post


you really have no clue how much easier it is to be a single child, no need to fight all the time, dont have to get hit all the time, dont have to hide in your room all day, dont have to wash Clean AND COOK for your sibiling even if they are old enough, dont have to make sure your sibiling is safe, dont have to make sure your sibiling isnt hurt or you get blamed, dont have to worry that your sibiling gets all the attention and not you. Haha your not missing much XD

Hi,

I have gone through what you experienced as well.. To me, it's like loads of shits & feel sucky...

I rather live & do those stuffs for myself. becos they aren't going to appreciate what you hv done for him at the end of the day.


Last edited by Wings; 25th July 2010 at 06:16 AM. Reason: Post Bumping
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