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Old 12th May 2013, 08:26 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Waiting, For a Change

WAITING


I thought of all the things I could do and can probably do, for say, an important person or to have or gain something. Tried to gauge the easiest to maybe the hardest I probably was going to do. I was contemplating on spending money to be the hardest, since to date, I have no means or whatsoever to pursue anything of any monetary value. And then, I thought the easiest would be investing time and emotion or feelings for both- thing or person. Emotion, since it’s human nature to trust and then just feel “something” so fast for one thing or someone, proof of the extent of their need or want or their plain interest.

Well, that was before. When I was still naïve and had no experience in life and the worldly world. Boy was I so delusional with those thoughts.

Man, I think is very vulnerable. To everything. A little bit of something and he is coaxed to care, to empathize and to get hurt. Everything emotional can be easily manipulated from him with the right touch and push of the buttons, unless of course if he’s “unfeeling”.

But might I just state the facts, you, me, we can almost endure everything to our maximum limit except for “WAITING”.

Have you tried waiting for a call? For a person? An answer? Waiting for love? For time to go slow or fast? For the day to end perhaps?

Hard isn’t it?

Damn right it’s the hardest!

Try sitting around all day waiting for a call that never came. Or waiting and wishing for attention to be given you, and then you notice them noticing everyone else but you. Waiting for a promise to be done when you know full well that by general rule, “promises are made to be broken”. Wait for a proposal, you almost give in to the urge to launch yourself at him to ask him yourself about the big “M” thing! Wait for the right scheduled time for your favorite soap to go on the telly and then you fall asleep waiting!

Hard right?

Waiting is so hard it drives you- us insane at times. Sitting around all day, counting the ticking of the clock, doing chores with half a mind when really all our attention and focus are elsewhere.

Boy have I done that.

Have you?

And worst thing is, it comes hand in hand with the easiest thing to do. Drive myself (ourselves-whichever may be the right case or may apply) out of my/our mind/s.

Waiting drives us crazy. Simple. It gets us paranoid. It creates monsters and ghosts inside our heads which poison us to the point of paranoia.

We start to question if it’s worth it- the wait. We start to question the legitimacy and the reputation of the courier because of the wait. We begin to question the sincerity of the person who we’re waiting for or gave us that promise. And- insanely- we begin to question why we let ourselves endure and sit around waiting for something that has no guarantee will come, be reciprocated (if it was love), be done (if it was a promise, or just wait to be noticed.

The dark smirking face of paranoia stares us straight in the face. Poisoning our minds against everything that we believe in that, brought about our situation of waiting. Pops our initial bubble of security and longing and need and trust, we start to feel stupid in waiting and having waited.

Waiting for something and especially, waiting for someone, will there ever be a guarantee? Should waiting always be tantamount to acquire, gain and deserve something or someone?

Is there even, or will there even be a gratifying sense of knowledge (if it were true), that, the person we are waiting for is also waiting for us? Losing too their minds from the wait?

If there was a way? Hell yeah!

But.

If waiting, I think is causing us to see little of ourselves and our self worth, might as well not wait. Losing our pride and being prejudiced from the wait. All not worth it. Stupid to wait and then know in the end that the person will not come by, or that the thing we so wanted and waited for is not justifiable to the wait and time we invested on it. Stupid in waiting for cats to bark when in reality they already learned to sing with lyrics!

Waiting?

For now, here’s what I want. I want to be the one to be waited for. Not the one waiting. Is that hard?

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Old 12th May 2013, 10:31 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Waiting, For a Change

Time will tell if your wait is even worth it

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Old 13th May 2013, 06:24 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Waiting, For a Change

When I wrote this one, I was really decided to wait and see how it goes. But I got tired and tried if that person would actually have half a mind to wait for me in turn..But well..sad to say..didn't quite go as I thought it would..But hey, learned my lesson.

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