Who is at the wrong here?

**symx** · 18-10-2009, 11:16 PM

Past week, I thought of waiting for my colleague after work and accompany
her to bus stop. (We know each other for many months.) Things turn ugly as when I approach her and I just said to her: "Heading for class?"

She called for the manager to back her up instead of telling me to back off. If she
said that, I would have back off and things won't get worse.

To me and my psychologist, she is angry with me and she feel like I'm stalking her
so she took aggressive actions on me which is calling for manager. My dear friend
is now also involved in this but he's role is just to aid me as I know she is
difficult to handle.

That night, I was traumatized and I couldn't sleep that night as I feel like I'm a criminal waiting to be sentenced the next day.
Though things didn't go the way I expect but at least both of us clear the air during the following day.

But there's another thing she want to find out is who is interested in her
as that day my friend said "Someone is interested in her."
To her, she thought my friend is interested in her but it isn't and my friend
refuse to see her even though she insisted to clarify on this.
(My friend has already a girlfriend.)

Actually it was me as I want to kill two birds with one stone which
is overcoming our communication barrier and ask her to give us
a second chance.
(I be beefsteak for sure after i confess about this.

)

She even ask that sentence "Someone is interested in her." right
in front of my face but I never said it was me as I know she isn't
interested in me.
(To prevent getting hurt.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by superhunk

dude, y cry over such insensitive girl? NOT WORTH IMO. DUMB HER. plentiful of better gurls out there willingto befren n accept u, u need somone who truly appreciate your kindness , care and niceness.

if u really like her, buff up, go to the gym, be confident, stop crying , be a MAN n show her that they r tons of gurls out there for u. not only HER. IGNORE HER for the time being. trust me, she will swoon over to u on her knees.

And also the strongest reason that why all these time I never confess
to her that I like her is because I don't feel that she really appreciate
someone like me who is kind, caring and nice to others.

She is not worth it and I deserve someone better than her.

To her

I'm guy with a guy's mind but a girl's heart. Don't take things too hard on me
as I can break down easily and that I can cry easily. You never see
a soft hearted guy who can cry easily and I'm a rare breed.

Let's bury the past and move on. When it's time to communicate,
we must really talk to each other. It's truth that I'm still interested in you and
care for you but I know you won't give me another chance so
let's remain as colleague.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jewlreya

A case of miscommunication. I mean I'm glad that you saw this side of her before you really
fall for her and get really involved in a relationship with this kind of girl. They can be so hard to handle.

Is clear that we have communication problem regardless
whether is it personal or work. Every time when I work with her,
she refuse to look me in the eyes or when I ask her a question
she just walk away.

Yet she denied this fact that we have communication problem and
I can tell without you saying it to me. She's really one type of
tiger which is very hard to tame.

(I'm crying when typing this as it's rather a painful and traumatizing event.)

**Zhaoyue** · 18-10-2009, 11:39 PM

I think maybe what you can do is first slowly build up your friendship first so that you can know each other better than decide. Cos seems like she not interested but you can show her your gd point ma through build up the friendship

**superhunk** · 18-10-2009, 11:45 PM

dude, y cry over such insensitive girl? NOT WORTH IMO. DUMB HER. plentiful of better gurls out there willingto befren n accept u, u need somone who truly appreciate your kindness , care and niceness.

if u really like her, buff up, go to the gym, be confident, stop crying , be a MAN n show her that they r tons of gurls out there for u. not only HER. IGNORE HER for the time being. trust me, she will swoon over to u on her knees.

**kaede9** · 18-10-2009, 11:52 PM

dun cry. get a good night's sleep.

**pungpung** · 19-10-2009, 12:59 AM

ur story is 50% the same as mine...
and how u describe urself is similar to what i see in myself.
sleepless nights everyday..1month+ and counting..

**jewlreya** · 19-10-2009, 02:55 AM

A case of miscommunication. I mean I'm glad that you saw this side of her before you really fall for her and get really involved in a relationship with this kind of girl. They can be so hard to handle.

kokojun · 19-10-2009, 04:16 AM

well, i hope you will move on from this experience and become stronger.
you'll definitely meet other much nicer girls out there (:

**symx** · 19-10-2009, 07:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jewlreya

A case of miscommunication. I mean I'm glad that you saw this side of her before you really fall for her and get really involved in a relationship with this kind of girl. They can be so hard to handle.

That's what I told her that we have communication problem but she
just want to denied this fact.

Thank you all for comforting a broken hearted guy, at least I manage to
sleep even though my tears are dripping.

vios21 · 19-10-2009, 09:20 AM

Jux go sleep mate.

**iKarma** · 19-10-2009, 10:40 AM

Man, there are so many beautiful girls out there, just go to sleep forget her and start afresh?

**Stanstan** · 19-10-2009, 11:11 AM

TS,

from your thread, I can see that you might have a very mild split personality issue here, first, I find u full of confidence.(just nice that kind, not overly), because u said ,"She is not worth it and I deserve someone better than her." You know your wants well yet you cannot control your emotions. Emotions somehow overtook your confidence then you broke down & cry.

Remember that, opposite attracts, one of the major features of us, guys, that attracts female is masculinity and from what I understand from your thread(although it might not be true), lacks of it. If you had a girl's heart and you really interested in her, perhaps you should adjust it?

You might never know that, to her,"she might be feeling that you are "sissy" , thus keep avoids sending the wrong signal to you.(although i find it extreme to inform her boss about it)

I personally suggest you take a softer approach in your situation, instead of trying to talk her to regarding the problems between both of you. It will somehow scare her & turn her off. Perhaps you should just let nature takes its course. Since you also realized you deserve someone better. Why not wait for the "someone" to appear in your life instead of worrying yourself with someone whom doesn't deserve you @ the first place.

my 2 cents.

**Mulberry** · 19-10-2009, 11:57 AM

err.. think you have to stop wasting your time on her.. I had an encounter with a guy whom trying to get close to me, I'd already hinted him I am not into any relationship now due to soem family issues when he confested he likes me -.- I was careless, I was bad, I give him a chance to get closer with me by taking "free" transport back home.. So I made the mistake.. And I don't know how when he kept messaging me but he shld of know from the time he wants to go out with me.. I don't feel comfortable at all, I don't even want to see him by turning my head up to his face.. I looked somewhere else instead.. It's just not so much the type of guy that I want and I felt uncomfortable when he's around cause the more he wants to come closer, the more I felt irritate by his move and act.. Sorry it cant be forced.. So I believe the girl might have the same feeling as me.. I hope you're not offended or so.. Just sharing my encounter with you..

Stuoid_Panda · 19-10-2009, 12:04 PM

do note ...sometimes..it better not to get too close to a girl.
i think u should jus giv up on her. she interested in someone else.

1 day she will realise she jus look at the wrong person n it too late for her. u deserve someone better.

anyway find a new job..better..

**Senator1** · 19-10-2009, 12:05 PM

why spend your time dealing with such minor issues?

**symx** · 19-10-2009, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stanstan

TS,

from your thread, I can see that you might have a very mild split personality issue here, first, I find u full of confidence.(just nice that kind, not overly), because u said ,"She is not worth it and I deserve someone better than her." You know your wants well yet you cannot control your emotions. Emotions somehow overtook your confidence then you broke down & cry.

Remember that, opposite attracts, one of the major features of us, guys, that attracts female is masculinity and from what I understand from your thread(although it might not be true), lacks of it. If you had a girl's heart and you really interested in her, perhaps you should adjust it?

You might never know that, to her,"she might be feeling that you are "sissy" , thus keep avoids sending the wrong signal to you.(although i find it extreme to inform her boss about it)

I personally suggest you take a softer approach in your situation, instead of trying to talk her to regarding the problems between both of you. It will somehow scare her & turn her off. Perhaps you should just let nature takes its course. Since you also realized you deserve someone better. Why not wait for the "someone" to appear in your life instead of worrying yourself with someone whom doesn't deserve you @ the first place.

my 2 cents.

Thx for the advice, will take note.

symx added 1 Minutes and 22 Seconds later...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senator1

why spend your time dealing with such minor issues?

Self reflection as I was traumatized that day due I can't sleep.

symx added 5 Minutes and 40 Seconds later...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stuoid_Panda

do note ...sometimes..it better not to get too close to a girl.
i think u should jus giv up on her. she interested in someone else.

1 day she will realise she jus look at the wrong person n it too late for her. u deserve someone better.

anyway find a new job..better..

I can't leave my job just for her as I have friends and students
who need me. Everyday I will just ignore her will do and do my job.

Stuoid_Panda · 19-10-2009, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by symx

Thx for the advice, will take note.

symx added 1 Minutes and 22 Seconds later...

Self reflection as I was traumatized that day due I can't sleep.

symx added 5 Minutes and 40 Seconds later...

I can't leave my job just for her as I have friends and students
who need me. Everyday I will just ignore her will do and do my job.

u rather be stress everyday then go find a better job..ok then

**symx** · 19-10-2009, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stuoid_Panda

u rather be stress everyday then go find a better job..ok then

"No pain, No gain."

Even when I'm stress during work, at least I got students
and friends around to cheer me up.

Stuoid_Panda · 19-10-2009, 03:16 PM

u make ur choice..

**XxShannnxX** · 19-10-2009, 06:16 PM

you worth someone better, don't cry and stand up again.
There will be more girls out there who are better.

**bluezben** · 21-10-2009, 02:57 AM

I don't think anyone is wrong. They have their reasons. Shes jus being over sensitive. You are too.. So why don't you take a break from loving her and relax yourself.. think whether is she worth your love?

Well.. Hope you get a good solution as soon as possible.. (Don't commit sucide, its dumb.)