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Old 6th November 2009, 09:23 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Would you be able to understand?

Let's say if u are between 13-16 years old..

You have known your parents have not been sleeping together for donkey years, you have heard/seen them yell and scream at each others, you know they have not gone on date or be close like a real couple should..

Would you be able to understand that their marriage had broke down w/o them telling you?

If one day your parent's divorce is on the table, would you be able to accept this?

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Old 7th November 2009, 08:23 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Would you be able to understand?

Did you start this thread because you're going through something like that?

My parents should be fine, btw I'm nearly over sixteen. I've come to learn that if a couple has reached a point where they cannot salvage their relationship, sometimes it's always better to break up - especially if their quarreling and fighting is endless and just hurts their children to no end.

However, if both spouses still have feelings for each other, there is still chance that they can make up.

I've never been in a situation like that though; it really depends on what's going on - perhaps I may accept it, perhaps I may not.

Whether they should divorce or not depends on many things: the main reasons why they started fighting, their personalities, their children, what jobs they have (or the lack thereof), etc.

Hope this helps somehow, although I'm not sure how it will.

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Old 7th November 2009, 09:03 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Would you be able to understand?

i'm 18.. but have similar cases.. my parents stopped sleeping with each other n nvr once go out on a date for as long as i could rmb..

but its ok since they didnt quarrel.. whenever my mum started her naggings, my dad would find other things to distract himself, and whenever my dad was not in a good mood, my mum would stop her naggings.

they're both over 58 and are actually torrerating each other even when i understand that the "feeling" might no longer be there anymore.. somehow i can accept this and still feel blissed in a calm family.

but if theres a case where, as ts mentioned, a risk of getting divorce, i think i wouldnt b able to be so strong to accept that. i'll keep praying that my current peace n happiness wont break, and i'll be able to be with my parents til old. i may b selfish but i believe thats what every child want: a happy n complete family

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Old 7th November 2009, 09:09 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Would you be able to understand?

Oftenly, one person has to go through the thick of things in order to get full fledged experience on how it feels like to be in such a disaster.

It'll only make that person stronger and into believing that he/she will not make his/her future family end up like this - that is if he/she is strong enough to be optimistic about every dire situation that happens in their lives.

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Old 8th November 2009, 11:10 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Would you be able to understand?

Originally Posted by love_replica View Post
Did you start this thread because you're going through something like that?

My parents should be fine, btw I'm nearly over sixteen. I've come to learn that if a couple has reached a point where they cannot salvage their relationship, sometimes it's always better to break up - especially if their quarreling and fighting is endless and just hurts their children to no end.

However, if both spouses still have feelings for each other, there is still chance that they can make up.

I've never been in a situation like that though; it really depends on what's going on - perhaps I may accept it, perhaps I may not.

Whether they should divorce or not depends on many things: the main reasons why they started fighting, their personalities, their children, what jobs they have (or the lack thereof), etc.

Hope this helps somehow, although I'm not sure how it will.
nope.. not me.. it's a friend la..

personally, when i was young, my parents quarrel alot.. until i personally hope they juz get a divorce and move on..

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Old 10th November 2009, 01:28 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Would you be able to understand?

I'm 16, and wow that really sounds like what's happening between my parents.

For me, I've already accepted something like this long ago, since I'm sure that there are signs along the years and one should be able to adapt to such situations during the course. So it's the best if us, being their children not to think or get to affected by it (though it's true that it's not within our control to get affected by it or not, it just happens).

I'm sure that your parents will want the best for you though.

Just learn from their mistakes (no, I'm not saying that it's good or anything), and try to support each other as best as you can. Humans' mind aren't as strong as we think (most of the time we don't even know what we really want).

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Old 4th December 2009, 08:25 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Would you be able to understand?

Originally Posted by Amulet View Post
Let's say if u are between 13-16 years old..

You have known your parents have not been sleeping together for donkey years, you have heard/seen them yell and scream at each others, you know they have not gone on date or be close like a real couple should..

Would you be able to understand that their marriage had broke down w/o them telling you?

If one day your parent's divorce is on the table, would you be able to accept this?
We Asian tends to look at divorce as something very negative. Personally for me, it's not. Marriage is just like any other friends relationship, only difference, it's bonded by a vow and piece paper.

We see divorce as a taboo subject and feel embarrased for the wrong reason and we gave excuses for child sake for staying together.

When two adult cannot get along together and the relationship seem unrepairable, personally for me, the best thing is to stay apart.

I rather have two set of parents (assuming they remaried) that love each other than have to witness one that argue daily. Worst still when one start to have an affair.

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Old 4th December 2009, 09:14 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Would you be able to understand?

hmm.. my parents dont argue much, or at least not to the scary point much. however, there were times when i was young and my parents had arguments to the point they don't talk to each other and i think once my dad came to my room to sleep instead. hated that feeling, dinners become so quiet, sitting there feels so stressful, don't know what to say, best not to say anything... didnt like it

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